Those &%#*ing Ants Again!

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (00:02.069)
Are you ready, kids?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (00:04.681)
DID!

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (00:05.89)
I can't hear you! Ooooo

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (00:07.411)
Yay!

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (00:14.805)
Yes.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (00:23.797)
Absorb it with yellow imporuses.

Every nanoclonal tooth will be something you wish.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (00:33.247)
See, when I hear that, always think of the alligator dance from Animal House. Alligator! They hit the ground like.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (00:38.03)
yeah. Otis, my man. Well, boys and girls, if you haven't figured it out already, you have arrived at another titillating episode of Tales from the Crawl Space podcast and we are TFTC live. So welcome aboard mateys and for another one. So Jack, how you been this week?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:06.837)
I've been all right. I, had a bit of a debacle having to go back and forth to the dentist and all that good shit. So that was a full day. So my dentist is 80 miles away. because I got my dental work shit done when I was living out that way. So with the warranty I have with them, I had to get out there the night before, get there first thing in the morning. Then I had to go to this laboratory to have things fixed.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:18.615)
Nah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:23.63)
Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:30.51)
That's it.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:36.179)
and then go back to the dentist again. So was back and forth across the DC metropolitan area in traffic, which look, I live on a mountain. I don't like traffic. I do not like traffic. Traffic can go fuck itself.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:48.77)
Especially oncoming traffic when you're trying to get up and down that motherfucker.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:52.485)
my god, just pain in the ass. So, but that's how my week went for the most part. The next day I had a eye appointment and got my prescription renewed so I can get my ass on Zenni and get a pair of glasses for $7.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (02:05.676)
Noise noise noise and yeah me. No, mate me me me and my fucking eye. It's been nothing but I I'll tell you what Jack if next time if something like this happens again where I'm down with my like this, you know if it happens to the other eye and That eye doctor gives me a prescription for painkillers. I'm gonna water it up throw it back at him Tell him give me a prescription for antidepressants because I'm telling you what man This has been rough and matter of fact make it two prescriptions for antidepressants one for me and one for Ellen

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (02:07.785)
How about you?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (02:26.805)
Mm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (02:34.062)
because she's fucking needing it dealing with me. I've been a fucking basket case. can't, I can't, you know, can actually look ahead now because you see I'm not laying over the side of anything. So yeah, so I can, you know, so I can get up, can sleep right. can, can look, you know, sleep right, sleep right, look up, you know, just like normal. And no head banging, man, no head banging.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (02:34.174)
J. Thomas Starry Esq. (02:44.361)
Yeah, it's gonna say you least your upright.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (02:55.059)
No head banging.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (02:58.826)
I can drive a little bit, know, things like that, but I can't bend over and I can't lift anything over 10 pounds. Hi Candace. And so there's where I'm at right now. And it's driving me batshit. And I top that off with the shitty weather we've been having. It got really fucking cold. It's springtime. I want to get out and get some dirt under my fingernails, get some onions planted, get some radish planted, get that cold weather shit going. Can I do any of that? hell no. No, it's too fucking cold. I'm too fucking one-eyed. So.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (03:05.353)
Hi Candace.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (03:28.206)
I'll be better, Jack, but this is not that weak.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (03:32.597)
Well, I tell you speaking of a green thumb I've got a tray those little seat starting trays with little 72 pods in it of red creeping time and I'm a It's going pretty good under the grow light and I'm waiting for it to get a little bit more stout before I get all 72 of them put along the swale behind the house, but The swale I'll have it all pertied up by this summer though so I can enjoy the beauty while I'm relaxing in my red-necky hot tub

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (03:39.65)
Yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (03:49.528)
Right.

That's a wheel.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (04:02.36)
That's right. I tell you what, man, there's nothing like the feel of a good, dense carpet of creeping time underneath your bare feet. It is, man. It's like massages it. I had some at our own house. We had some, and it was actually growing in the border between the sidewalk and the house, and I would just veer off into that shit if I had no shoes on. Man, was heavy. I loved it. Loved it.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (04:09.757)
Hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (04:20.725)
Mm-hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (04:25.801)
Well, I don't think it grows that high, so I'll be able to see the timber rattlers if they're hanging out in it.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (04:31.3)
yeah, definitely. like a Berber for your yard. Yeah, it's that kind of pile. I love a good Berber, man, because it's like your feedage, man, you just.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (04:36.166)
nice, Berber carpet, as a carpet install, I fucking hated that shit.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (04:47.603)
Until you pull a piece of furniture across it and pull a thread up, leave a nice little trail of nothingness on the fucking floor.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (04:53.006)
Yeah Yeah, we have we have we have a burmur at the office at trio pest control home of William the merciful and you know He brings his dog in ember. She's a good girl. She's a little nervous She barks ass a lot, but she she tears that carpet up in the tech room It's like I'll find big threads out and shit. I just say I'm saying your dog's such a carpet muncher bill Anyway, yeah, so tonight

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (05:19.317)
I can relate.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (05:22.722)
Let's talk ants, Jack. The flavor of the month, fucking ants. It's like the one thing that comes out, you can always guarantee coming out before even the groundhog, man, fucking ants. And ants of the odorous house variety are typically gnarly right now. Usually I get them in my house during the spring, but I haven't seen a whole lot of them right now because, I mean, the...

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (05:24.243)
Those fucking ants again.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (05:29.183)
We got it.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (05:40.211)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (05:47.746)
The weather right now is so schizophrenic, it's tough. It's tough to figure out when they're gonna hit. Before, over the past several years, it was an annual event. And then I would break out the Advion gel, and I would gel them. And that's not one of those people. I typically don't put gel baits on the inside of people's homes unless I can find a nice hidey spot for them.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (05:50.856)
It is.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (06:17.122)
around the outlets and stuff like that so they're not all still glomming on it and pissing the customers off. I don't care. If I've got ants trailing on the counter, it's nothing to me. I'll put a big old splooge of that right there and let them eat what they were, right where you pull up, whatever they're eating, put that splooge down and let them have on that. I don't care, because it's beautiful, because it looks like those aerial photographs of the wildebeest, the watering hole in the Serengeti. They're all lined up around it, man. That's fucking beautiful, man.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (06:18.685)
Right, right.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (06:40.206)
yeah, they're all surrounding it, yep. Yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (06:44.14)
And then you've got more wilderbeasts and ganous and stuff like that heading towards it. No, ganous is good ganous. That's absolutely right, Jack.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (06:48.341)
Because No-Ganoo's is Good-Ganoo's with Gary... with Gary... with Gary-Ganoo. If anybody remembers that great space coaster show from the early 80s for kids, great space coaster. No-Ganoo's is Good-Ganoo's with Gary-Ganoo.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (07:01.41)
Yep.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (07:06.773)
man, yeah, just, ants, I mean, it's cool when you figure it out. mean, when you get it nailed down to following them back to where they're coming from and stuff, and it's that feeling of accomplishment, you know, then you get customers that they see one ant in the hole, they want to burn the whole house down. Or you get someone that wants you to baseboard jockey because three years ago in my upstairs sewing room, I saw an ant up along the baseboard three years ago.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (07:14.68)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (07:35.03)
I the bass boys. And they were going in my bathroom and messing around around the base of my toilet. And I can't, no, I just couldn't. I was going to the gas station to relieve myself because of the ants. And I have anxiety issues and I just can't have that.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (07:53.247)
So I'm gonna need you to spray everything, everywhere, everything.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (07:57.45)
Everything.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (08:02.692)
you got to use them. You... You... they're all over the parking place.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (08:13.395)
Hahaha!

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (08:26.014)
And but another good one is sometimes you just don't have fucking time to do it. So what do you do? Vitamin T, baby. Vitamin fucking T. You're gonna get in there. You're gonna take care of business. Because they've had another company in there and they couldn't figure it out. You're going in there and you are desperately wanting to figure it out, but you've got five other stops and it's already three o'clock in the afternoon.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (08:34.365)
Yeah, it was a little, fun.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (08:51.246)
And you you're pressed for time and stuff like that. Sometimes you just got to whip out the big T and I'm sorry. A lot of, a lot of people, a lot of people think, you know, a lot of people like, uh, you know, are, you know, like, that's, that's, that's what it was. It's like, that's lazy. You blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's like, no, it's not lazy. If it works, it's not lazy. If it works, dude. And you know what? If you do it right, that shit works all season long.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (08:56.799)
That I was thinking of a different letter, but okay.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (09:12.671)
Fuck it's effective, it's effective. Hey dude.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (09:19.847)
Yeah, it's like Diazonon used to work all season long. That shit was fucking awesome. Do you realize that we have another podcast in our chat room right now?

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (09:27.947)
It's like a total, yeah, it is. It's the four of us.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (09:32.841)
We have the ladies from the Pastrogen podcast in our chat right now. I'm sure that's right, ladies. Hello.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (09:38.243)
Good good afternoon ladies Good evening to Jen good afternoon to Candace Jen's of course in a station, you know is the lives in Ohio that works in Fort Wayne, Indiana and Candace are Scotty went and fucked it all up We got dude. We got cock block by Scotty man That's got EG

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (09:54.835)
Got it.

What's up Scotty?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (10:02.077)
Yeah. And Mario!

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (10:04.566)
Mario okay, Jack. You know we've been talking about it. It's what better time Now that Mario is here to share the story that he sent us. What do you say? I know that everybody's like everybody's getting in here like And Jen no, it's not too late and Let's see. Let me me go look at you got that Jack help me out here feel some time

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (10:15.093)
And then I'm going to share the story that Scotty sent us. So you're going ahead.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (10:30.837)
All right. Well, I'll tell you, I had a chat with our good Australian buddy, Dave Lyon, and he'd gone up in an attic for, I believe he said it was for rodents. And when he got up into the attic, he said every rafter, every joist in the attic was covered with ant eggs. They were all over the place. He's like, yeah, that was an upsell. and he collects ants. I mean, he's got like a live ant farm thing with these big bull ants.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (10:36.786)
huh.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (10:48.775)
man.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (11:00.487)
and he got another bull ant queen for his collection. So he's like, I'm a proud dad. got my bull ant queen. So, but he's, he's, he, sent me pictures of these, of these, ceiling joists in the attic, man. And there were eggs all over the fucking place. Wow. It was crazy.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (11:05.966)
Good for him, man.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (11:14.414)
Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, so, okay, Mario. Mario brought us this and thank you once again, Mario. One of these days, I swear to God, one of these days we are going to meet. don't care if we have to do it and wave at each other across the Panama Canal. All right, let's get, hey Brad. I'm not gonna do that one. He was greeting me on this part. So I'm gonna skip. Thank you, Mario.

A few years ago, I was working on a quote for a fairly large hospital and was accompanied by one of the hospital managers when she received a call over the radio. Doctor, we have a problem in the ICU. Then she turned to me and said, come with me and we'll continue the tour from there. She went to the ICU and waited outside. About five minutes later, she came out and said, we have a problem here that I think only you can solve. Can you come with me, please?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (12:10.441)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (12:11.846)
And I went in and saw that one of the unconscious patients was covered in ants. Oh, oh, as they say in New Jersey, oh. The nurses hadn't noticed the leak in the patient's glucose IV, which had dripped onto the bed and floor. There were ants all over the floor, the mattresses, and the patient. And visiting hours were set to start in 30 minutes.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (12:22.121)
Go!

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (12:36.742)
shit.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (12:38.328)
Cue that

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (12:44.981)
Ha

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (13:07.84)
We close the deal.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (13:09.215)
Da da da! Very nice! Very nice.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (13:11.714)
Mario my man,

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (13:15.121)
Do you know the origin of the name piss ants? Are you familiar with the origin of the name piss ants? I always thought it was interesting that to test for diabetes they'd see if the ants would go to the urine for the amount of sugar that was in it so they called them piss ants.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (13:19.639)
I am.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (13:30.314)
really? I thought it was for another different reason altogether. Let me check this out before I put my foot in my mouth. I want you to, Jack, if you got a second, why you go to Google? Google the word Pismire, P-I-S-M-I-R-E.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (13:35.348)
shit.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (13:48.244)
Yes.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (13:55.253)
P-I-S-M-I-R Pismyer meaning an ant.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (13:56.895)
M-I-R-E.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (14:02.572)
Yeah, that's why they're called piss ants.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (14:05.267)
Huh, I always thought it was because of the sugars, what I always heard.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (14:08.812)
Mm-mm, mm-mm. there it is. There are pismires. So, yeah, that's how it became.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (14:19.283)
Well, goddamn.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (14:20.049)
Now, they can do it. I'm sure they could test for urine for that. I was wondering about that long time ago and then I saw that and I was like, that makes sense.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (14:34.931)
Yeah, it does now. Well, I stand corrected. I thought it was actually pretty cool to see if they would go eatin' on the tankle just to see if they're sugarin' That's not a problem. I got pills for that. Well, Mr. Scotty Grill said he's witnessed puke ants. But I got his story here. goes, years ago, I was doing a WDI for a real estate transaction. I'm greeted at the door by the seller of the home and right from the get-go, I could tell he was a Jag-Off.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (14:41.666)
You stand erected.

There you go. It's nice.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (15:04.851)
He was a miserable old man who started bitching the moment I stepped in the door, telling me how everyone is out to screw him on the sale of his house. He needed a new roof, new wiring, and the drains had some kind of issue. Now, this house was as old and beat up as he was and hadn't kept up with things over the years. So I stood there with a sympathetic smile, waiting for him to run out of steam, which he never did. Finally, I asked him where the basement door was so I could begin my inspection.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (15:21.102)
No.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (15:35.251)
You better not find anything." He barked as I made my way down the stairs. It was a typical miserable old man basement, crap everywhere covered in spider webs. I'm thinking to myself, please, I hope I can pass this house. Well, as I'm making my way around, come across a dead carpet ramp. Okay, I'm not the guy who writes up a house for treatment after finding one dead ant, so I plugged on. A few feet over, I found a couple more.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (15:57.824)
Mm-hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (16:03.027)
And then I find even more caught in spider webs and such. Finally, I came across a section under the upstairs bathroom floor where it was obvious that the toilet had been leaking for years. Jackpot. I complete my inspection, grateful that I didn't find termites, and I had to deal with that too and then go talk to the guy. I'm sorry, sir, but I found carp and ranch in the basement and then braced myself. Bullshit! He yells.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (16:26.776)
Mmm. Mmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (16:30.099)
Now I wasn't going to stand there and get into an argument about it, so I had them follow me downstairs to show them. that's nothing. Every house has a couple ants. Then accused me of trying to screw them like everyone else was. As I was explaining the relationship to damp wood and carpenter ants, I took my screwdriver and poked the soaking wood under the commode. The wood gave way and I opened up an ant colony that came pouring out like turning on a faucet. Victoriously,

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (16:43.31)
Hahaha

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (16:59.187)
I turn to see what he had to say about that. Without missing a beat, he barks, this is bullshit, you put them there. Well, that was enough for me. I'm on my way past him, wished him a good day and left. I can hear him yapping all the way to my truck, so I fill out the paperwork and take it to the realtor. He starts reading the report and I saw him wince. Carpenter ants, huh? Okay, what's the estimate? Fuck that guy, I said.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (17:06.67)
What?

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (17:27.502)
Hahaha!

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (17:29.875)
The realtor looked at me, not shocked at all and said, I hate that fucking guy. It was his problem now. I'm sure he earned his money on that transaction. That was a great story.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (17:35.131)
god, no shit.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (17:40.706)
Hell yeah. Man. Wow. Mm-hmm. I love when shit like that happens and I hate it at the same time. It's good. It's... Yep.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (17:49.909)
When you can show up up like, look, there they are. Then they just turn into a massive asshole.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (17:55.342)
Now, I think I told this one on the show before, but it bears repeating considering we're talking about ants today. Had a great customer, had problems. They had just built a new log home down somewhere between Franklin and Nineveh, Indiana. That's South Central, due south of Indianapolis, about an hour or so. Out in the middle of a field, beautiful, beautiful log home, right?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (18:12.629)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (18:22.806)
I get in there and just two months into it, they're bitching about ants. And I was like, okay, so take a look around, take a look around. She's like, I can't believe we got ants. We've had you for that. I said, you had me for years, but it's your old house. I said, you moved 12 miles away and plopped this thing right in the middle of a hog field and you got ants. I said, Ms. Shaw, let me try to find these for you.

I'm going down to the basement because I want to look at the, I want to look at the inside of the foundation first because it was pissing rain. I didn't want to go out there right away. Right. Yeah. I will inspect the exterior as a last resort on this one, especially since there's no fucking trees around. And, uh, and so, you know, I was like, and Mr. Was there. said, I said, Doug, I said, is this cedar? goes, yeah, it's Kentucky cedar. Kill them dried.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (19:07.093)
Ugh, yes.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (19:18.862)
So I'm walking down to the basement, right? And the landing, you know, we've got the logs going on, very beautiful fucking house, right? And I go and I see this, I see an ant right there in the land. You know, as I'm going down, I see him just go ploop into a hole about the size of, and we'll talk about this a little bit later in the show, but about the size of the very end diameter of a urethral sounding rod from Tony Spangler-Thumbers at spanglerart.com.

Boop, goes in there. I was like, oh, you motherfucker. I grabbed my duster, right? I'm in there. I got my bellows duster. Yeah, don't judge me. Judge me. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. That upside down, man. And then, boom. And then, I'm just watching. All the way around the chinking and shit right there. And then I pulled it out and I sat down on the steps. He's like, what you doing, brad? I said, Doug.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (19:51.679)
Hehehehehe

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (19:58.389)
I love those JT and Bellows dusters.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (20:18.476)
Come sit with me. He comes and he says, I said, I said, five, four, three. I didn't even get to three. This was like, he's like, said, then, and then, and then all of a sudden, said, there's your problem. I said, I said, I said that Kentucky kiln dried cedar that you got. Maybe they should have.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (20:33.144)
yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (20:41.158)
Hahaha.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (20:46.508)
Maybe they should have kept it in the oven a little longer. But took care of the situation. They were customers of mine for years and I got the prettiest fucking Christmas ornament that Mrs. Shaw made all by her lonesome. And I will be sure, I will make damn sure that I can find it and so I can show it to everybody on our Christmas episode that's coming up later on this year. Because it's fucking beautiful.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (20:50.101)
Goddamn.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (21:10.101)
Yes.

I look forward to seeing that. like with old log cabins, I've done carpenter and jobs in log cabins and you get your little stethoscope and you can just hear them. It sounds like static them in the, cause if you look at like the, when the log comes out the side of the house, like when they cross over each other, there's like a little dip, like a divot on the underside of that log. And there's that gap.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (21:26.446)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (21:40.824)
Right.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (21:42.771)
and they just kind of travel those gaps about the whole house and they'll pop up everywhere. And I've seen people that just let them go for the longest time and just ate the house up. Totally just ate the house up. a damn shame. Ooh, what you got there?

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (21:52.952)
Yep.

Damn. what? this? This is actually my retirement bourbon. My bride was cleaning this room and saw that my bottle was all kind of getting close to empty. So she just condensed it into a smaller bottle. This actually had ice wine in it at one time. Cause me and her both love some ice wine. But ice wine, yes. Ice wine is made from grapes that have frozen.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (22:19.623)
Ice wine? What the hell's an ice wine?

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (22:26.03)
on the vine. And then they take those grapes after they've frozen, it concentrates the sugars, and then they make wine out of it. They thaw them out, mash them up with the feet of lovely Icelandic women. I don't know about the Icelandic woman part, but...

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (22:27.303)
Mm-hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (22:42.207)
So no Lucille Ball one, because that was a great episode. I love Lucy.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (22:45.708)
That was a fucking great episode, yeah. We're dating ourselves, But yeah, the ice wine was in that. I've been keeping it. So when I go to visit my dad, and we always have this little bourbon, and I don't want to drink his bourbon because he don't get out much to buy it, so I always bring a little something. And we suck on my bottles. So yeah, that's my carrier. So I'm gonna drink on that tonight.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (22:51.189)
It's alright.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (22:59.967)
Mm-hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (23:08.404)
Nice.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (23:14.638)
Probably just go ahead and invest in another bottle here in the very near future.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (23:19.226)
Mr. Tyler showed up. How are you, Mr. Tyler? Good to see you in chat.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (23:23.31)
good evening tyler anyway uh... so i'd but uh... you we were talking about uh... about some uh... we're still talking about it's jack i got i got to be got there with me this is the first time in the and about a week i've been able to have a drink

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (23:40.981)
That's all right. I was going to say, I know that when I've had technicians who've been doing it for a year or two, and this came up in conversation on the depot a couple of weeks ago, that you get these people who've been doing it, these technicians have been doing it for a year or two and they think they know everything. And, you know, it takes more experience on the job to be humbled about it. And what happens is like, I'd have a technician that had been doing it a couple of years, thought he knew everything.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (23:44.078)
You

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (23:59.864)
I'm kind of a good tech man.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (24:09.877)
job and can't seem to figure out the problem where they're coming from what's going on. It's like man I want to run outside of that house I've granulated I put a terminator I can't see any trails or nothing and the only thing I say is did you look up did you look up no you really should uh branches coming up across the house the power uh branches touching the power lines if the if it's above ground electricity all that stuff the

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (24:26.882)
Yeah.

Absolutely.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (24:36.728)
Yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (24:38.293)
If the gutters are clean or not, you need to find out what's going on there. And they're like, oh, and then go back out to the job and come back and like, yeah, yeah, they were coming in on the branch upstairs through the gutter. Are you going to look up, man? It's just the simplest fucking thing.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (24:55.79)
Absolutely. Damn it, I lost my place, guys. Sun burnt to hell. Wow.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (25:00.991)
Tyler said he's sunburnt to hell, finally off of work. I forgot what the sun looks like. We've had nothing but fog and rain. For me, it's clouds. We got clouds. Just been moist. It's been really moist.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (25:11.02)
You are not a shuttin'.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (25:15.864)
That turns really foist.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (25:19.443)
Hot back of Douglas, that's the only white man that ever made me moist.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (25:23.776)
Yeah. my God. so Hey, Hey, Hey, we have a first time contributor on the show. yeah, don't get me wrong. We love our regulars, but man, when we get, when we get, when we get one that comes in, you know, for the first time, it's always a thrill. So, I'm going to, you know, a big, a big tip of the crawl space to Alec Shelby. Thank you very much. he's going to break his podcast, Jerry with us here, with his story about ants. So.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (25:26.485)
can't help us out.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (25:30.95)
okay, cool.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (25:50.51)
Buckle up buttercup, let's do this. How many times has someone told you they've got to be coming from underneath the house? This is you got to All the time, but most of the time we spot the interior of the house, place bait in active areas and treat the exterior perimeter. I did just that at a house I don't normally service, but a homeowner got on with one of these $99 a month for four month deals and she was tired of them dealing or dealing with them, aunts and the other company.

I could not get these ants under control because I would resolve the issue in one spot and they would pop up in another spot. So finally, out of sheer curiosity, I inspected her crawl space and I found ants everywhere. There must have been eight or nine colonies in different spots based on clumping and trails. I wish I would have taken a picture. There was a dead mouse in there and it looked like it was moving because only ants.

It looked like it was moving because of all the ants. I'm watching them for a few minutes. I saw the ants leave the mouse and go their separate ways. It was like a community well.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (26:55.029)
Yeah, I've seen that. Now, I ain't too proud to say it. When I was, when I first places ever, when I got out of my own was a mobile home. And I loved that fucking place. And this is back when you could go to the local hardware store and get a box of Diazonon, the powder, the granule stuff that you put in a, like a lawn sprayer and it would dilute it. And I got one of those Miracle Grow sprayers, the one that you fill the little canister up at the bottom.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (26:55.886)
Dude.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (27:04.065)
huh.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (27:23.791)
yeah, you hook it up to those and-

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (27:25.907)
Yeah, and I hit all the pilings up under the mobile home. I pulled the underpinning out and sprayed the whole underside of the damn thing. I didn't see ants for the rest of the fucking year. At all.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (27:35.938)
Jack, that's a level of brilliance I'm not accustomed to on this show. That's awesome.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (27:41.613)
But no, I'll tell you, I love that damn place. That place was cool as shit. that Diasonon, see, they get rid of all the good stuff. That's why we have to make things like Phantom Plus.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (27:50.072)
They do, Diazonon, Ficam, Ficam, Ficam and ants. God, that was the deadliest shit. Dursban, no fucking Dursban. I was okay with Dursban. I appreciated the killing power and the fast knockdown of a Dursban LO, but God, the ooh, that smell. That was horrible. I am so happy that I am working in the industry now because so few things smell.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (27:58.697)
Ders ban.

You

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (28:19.308)
Other than now you go near treating the house. worst thing that smells is the fucking technician.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (28:24.959)
There's something to be said for the stink of an orthing though.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (28:28.844)
Yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (28:29.683)
That's, you want people to think you did.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (28:31.502)
Or thing yeah, there's something to be said about the shit dirty diapers. Thank you smell. It's like, you know, what did you did this kid eat an industrial sized can of

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (28:35.679)
Well, you won't.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (28:41.237)
They're like, did you even do anything in my house? You go through and spritz a little orthine in each room. Just a little, no goddamn way. You could have not done anything but jerk off in the sump pump in the basement, then walk around with an empty B and G, but as long as you give them a spritz of orthine in a few different spots, as far as they're concerned, you turn the whole fucking place into a biohazard.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (28:46.008)
Fuckin' AI did. It don't take much. It don't take much.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (29:00.376)
No

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (29:05.547)
Hell yeah man, orthy means business when it comes to smell. Dude man, orthy up until Alpine WSG came out, which has been my fucking number one jam when it comes to roaches, orthy was a roach killing motherfucker. It really was. So Jack, I noticed your tip of the bottle tonight, what are you drinking?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (29:10.131)
Yeah, yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (29:18.367)
Mm-hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (29:23.795)
Yes it was. Yes it was.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (29:31.123)
I was enjoying myself a rolling rock no longer made in no longer made in La Trobe. Used to be from the glass line tanks of La Trobe, but now it's another company that makes it like in St. Louis or something. It's not the same. It's about the only decent cheap beer around, but

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (29:33.688)
Rolling Rock. Is it La Trobe? La Trobe, yep.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (29:41.665)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (29:47.808)
Yeah.

I thought it might have been imported from fucking juju to Japan or something, but you know

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (29:56.885)
I don't if it's Unibab, which that's what a Belgian company? Unibab?

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (30:00.436)
Unibiv, I think so. It's all conglomerates these days, As for me, I'm enjoying, of course, we did talk about the retirement bourbon. That would be, I'm drinking out of a naked bottle. let's give a tip of the hat to Evan Williams, Bottled and Bond, because man, man, what a bourbon. It is all around good. It's easy on the throat, unlike me.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (30:05.779)
Yeah, yeah, well.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (30:16.648)
Naked.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (30:29.665)
The

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (30:30.645)
I just had to back up an inch or two.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (30:32.942)
Absolutely, just got a tiny touch of sweetness. You can taste a bit of the Rick house in it. It's got a flavor that betrays its young age. And so yeah, it's an awesome bourbon and I'm washing it down with of course, my usual sweet tea that is in a Tony Spangler Tumbler.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (30:51.823)
Tony Spangler Tumblr.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (30:54.636)
Everybody take a good look at the graphics on both of these puppies, man, because you couldn't get sharper graphics. My eye is fucked up and I can still see this in really good condition. Jax is a vision in blue, you know, for the Fork Union Military Academy. It's his tip of the hat to his alma mater. That's right. And since I can't get one from Marion County Jail, then I don't have my alma mater, but I do have Tales from the Crawl Space. We've got our beautiful PCHD logo on there.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (30:57.577)
Dun dun dun daaah Dun dun dun daaah Dun dun dun daaah Dun dun dun daaah

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (31:11.263)
Class of 89.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (31:23.435)
yes, look at that.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (31:24.494)
And then of course, you know, on either side or some of the handsome of studs you're ever going to come across or ever going to come across to you. So, um, yeah. And, uh, you there's, so many features to a Tony's bang with Tumbler. Jack was just displaying one there. The patented rubber bottom and that always, always a good thing. It keeps that thing from scooting around when you're getting drunk and belligerent. You're not going to knock that thing over.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (31:27.029)
That sexy motherfucker. Oh, look at that handsome man. With my penis. With my penis.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (31:40.533)
This is...

the rubber bottom.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (31:51.358)
And I have to, I still have to put mine all the way over to the side so I don't go for like my arms flailing around during a podcast. get, I just get all kinds of epileptic up in here. And so I can knock it down bigger than shit, but every Tony Spangler tumbler that you order today from spangler.com comes with the famous one only surgical steel.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (31:56.213)
You flailing.

He gets excited.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (32:13.693)
your rethral sounding rod.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (32:15.368)
Your ethos sounding right? That's right. What what better what better what better? Medical instrument could you have on hand for those times where you just got to go and just got a can't so This is this is gonna take care of you man. It's it's got the it's got it's got a rather sharp edge around here It's not sharp enough that it can cut human skin But it's sharp enough to go through any scar tissue that you may have lodged in your urethra That's right. You know what kidney stones forget about it. This is gonna take good care of them

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (32:30.813)
This is...

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (32:36.349)
It will clear out the detritus. It will clear out the detritus.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (32:43.766)
It's gonna either push it back into your bladder so you can deal with it later, or it's gonna catch it to take it out now. It's win-win. And of course, the Tony Spangler stainless steel urethral sounding rod also has the patented angler for those people with that Peyronie's disease that have issues, that scar tissue is so bad that it's making your wang go south or north or east or west. Either way, this will work. It is multi-directional.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (32:48.361)
Hahaha!

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (33:02.869)
Amazing.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (33:11.95)
and we'll take care of any angle that you have to deal with.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (33:15.433)
You'll no longer have an issue with the tissue.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (33:18.484)
Mm-hmm, that's right. And it is so easy to clean. After using the Tony's Fingler tumbler, it's dishwasher safe and you can also just just kind of wipe it off and put it back in your tumbler and keep enjoying your tea.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (33:31.039)
But Tony will be remiss if we mention these should be hand washed. These are not dishwasher safe.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (33:37.528)
Do not dishwash, those are not. Now these are dishwasher safe. In fact, if you do prefer a sterile environment inside your penis, this is the thing for it.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (33:41.491)
Yes they are, most certainly, but this...

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (33:49.855)
That or an autoclave, but you know.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (33:52.054)
Autoclave. Yeah, I'm not buying a fucking $3,000 autoclave just for just for one of those

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (33:56.937)
Well, it is your penis that you're going to be taking care of here, so...

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (33:59.434)
It is. That's true. I should be kinder to my painting. Yeah. But anyway.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (34:02.415)
She should be kind of your painless there. But if you can dream it, Tony can make it. My military school podcast stuff, any design you want, he can do some girly bling bling. Him and his lovely lady can get you done up proper, or you can get yourself a good old tail from the crawl space tumbler. And we would love to see you have some of our swag out there. So you're damn right.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (34:26.38)
Yeah, so if you've got a need for some sexy swag with some good bearded studs on it, if you need to keep a hot drink hot or a cold drink cold, and if you also have those nasty scar tissue issues in your penis, there's only one name to remember. yeah. knees, reed, foot, toe knees, steel, urethral, sounding, glides.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (34:33.062)
Okay

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (34:40.511)
And your painis. If you got peronies, reach for Tony's, steal your ethereal sounding rod.

Now that jingle and the intro for all of our shows, the intro for the Pastry Jim podcast as well, are done by my boy JT Starry and he has a page on Facebook called JT Starry VO for voiceovers. He'll do jingles, he'll do music, voiceovers, impressions of different voices. He does it spot on Russian accent, but

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (35:06.894)
I swear.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (35:20.002)
the Russian accent rocks my fucking world.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (35:22.643)
But, and his business, his services are available to other people out there with podcasts or shows or whatever you need. So on Facebook, his page is called JT Story VO. And you can find them there and get some awesome voiceover work done for you.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (35:40.504)
That's right, absolutely so. we're talking, once again, if you just joined us, welcome to Tales from the Crawl Space podcast, TFTC live. We're talking those fucking ants again today, tonight. with us is at least, I think the one half of the Pestrogen podcast is dipped off the chats, but Candice is still with us. Candice, thanks for hanging in there. And also thank you for the stories that I'm just about to read.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (35:48.693)
Hmm?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (35:52.169)
Yes, yes.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (36:09.635)
good, good.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (36:09.83)
so, so yeah, Candace came across with one and, she goes first one is a lady that swears her old pest control, which was Brandon, who is her handsome husband, used to treat inside every week. She calls the property management almost weekly bitching. go check every time she won't be there. Her 18 year old daughter will tell us, yeah, there's been a few ants, nothing crazy. They stopped when you put some of your stuff in the window.

Another one is a monthly account through another property manager. Always has ants. She does actually have them. She keeps the house pretty well. But there is so much dropped food in an old rodent food stash under her dishwasher. I just told her again about it. So let's see if she cleans it up. Have another one where the guy is heavily infested. His house filled with garbage. Literally bugs everywhere. Oh, and animal feces. For those of you who don't know, that means shit.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (37:02.325)
It's poop. It's poop.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (37:08.746)
It's it's poopy all over the inside of the house and he calls his property management crying about ants and And then per on a personal level she goes we live in what used to be a marsh and sand dunes. We get lots of ants

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (37:24.051)
No, yeah, and with the high water table in Sandy Soils, like when I was working near Annapolis, Annapolis, Maryland, that's right off the Chesapeake Bay, little Sandy Soil, high water table. Man, ants were rampant. that place, because, God, so I can totally understand where she's coming from with that one.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (37:24.28)
Thank you, Candice.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (37:39.822)
Yeah. totally.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (37:46.996)
yeah, and over here at Stately Harvey Manor, my big issue of ants is right over around my kitchen where the outside wall. My thing is, and you've seen the party pad out there at Stately Harvey Manor, that dude, it's kind of difficult to get anything under it because it's so, it's huge. I'm gonna brag here, I have a huge deck. And my deck is so big.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (37:58.048)
Yeah, yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (38:12.62)
that you can't even reach all the way to the end of it from one end of it. That's how big my deck is.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (38:13.097)
How big is it?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (38:19.855)
Did you have the bushes around it cut down to make it look bigger? It does help your deck look bigger.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (38:23.726)
Always. That's right. You can't, you can never make your deck look big enough. And so, so we, you know, so, so the, so the area around it does stay neatly trimmed. And so my issue is I can't get a whole lot of shit back through there, but damn it, I'm going to break out the vitamin T every damn time. So, you know, once a year. So I, I have had to loosen up that first board right up against the house. I can take that, take a screwdriver, pop that up. I'm right there at the ground.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (38:48.489)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (38:53.55)
I knock it out, problem solved. And we run into a lot of that. Ah, is still here, I lied. I sit on a throne of lies. And Jen, speaking of Pestle Jen podcast, you are also featured on our comments. You brought us in a voice one. So we get to hear Jenny Wilson's beautiful voice. And as soon as I get that dude queued up,

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (39:19.231)
Hot damn.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (39:23.182)
We're gonna check that out. I've been begging her all day for an ant story and she

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (39:27.551)
Give me, let me get ready, hold on, let me get ready. That's right, okay. I'm ready. you did.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (39:35.502)
Hit the fart button. I did, well, and I didn't even fart. So, okay, my volume's all the way up in here. Let's hear what, okay, to preface, I have not heard any of this, so she could be, she could just be cussing both of us out on this one, Jack. you know, listen at your own peril.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (39:51.721)
I'd have it coming though, so you know.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (39:57.23)
So last year in the fall, I acquired a church and their main concern was mice. Everything was addressed, everything's cool. They ended up getting a small spout of ants because somebody left donuts out overnight. So we observed them around the coffee bar area. I treated, I did an inspection. I found some in the room next to it.

In the mechanical room I treated, I baited. Winter hit. I had monitors around, no activity. None of my baits anywhere in the entire church. Nothing, none of my monitors. Everything was good. Spring hits, they get mulch put in of course. And I come to service and lo and behold, there's ants. I observed one, then somebody passed me and said, hey,

We saw some ants and I'm like, right, it's go time. In my region, it's not quite time to do an exterior because we still have freezing temps and it's still soggy, muddy. It's just not time. We're getting there so close. But I'm walking around, I'm doing my inspection and a Sunday school teacher walks by and she stops and says, hey, the kids found an area they're coming from. So she walks me over to the middle of the room here in the lobby.

moves over a chair, like a sofa chair, and in the tiniest little hole where the four squares of carpet meet are ants coming out of the carpet. In this carpet, it's like a gray-brown mesh where it's really kind of hard to see even, it was hard to even tell that the carpet is carpet tiles essentially, just squares.

down or something because they just pull apart. So ants are coming out and she goes, yeah, I saw a bunch of the toddlers over there just squishing them as they come out. And I come over and she said there was just a bunch of squished dead ants around it and just a bunch of toddlers just going at it. So I thought that was a cute story to share.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (42:17.506)
just because I had the pleasure of meeting Kevin from all bugs go to heaven. If anybody knows that Facebook group, but he made mention about how fun it is to explore bugs like you're a kid. So, and on that day I got to be helped with my inspection by children and it was super cute. But yeah, ants be smart, you know, they be popping up under stuff and

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (42:40.873)
That is cool.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (42:47.594)
in places where it's camouflaged, man. But yeah, happy ant season, everyone. My God, Jenny, thank you very much. Yeah. She goes ants be smart, but Jenny be smarter. Paying attention to those kids. Listen, listen to the children, everyone.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (42:57.033)
That was awesome.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (43:08.35)
Back in my carpet installing days, I've done those carpet tiles. Man, they're a pain in the ass.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (43:13.46)
they are, absolutely. But damn it, they're held a lot easier than if they popped up right in the middle of a carpet that's not in Because a carpet tile is great because you can pop that dude up. I mean, that even goes with termite swarmers too. I you'll have termite swarms blow up right out of those damn things. But it's usually the ants because you get that sand, that dirt, gritty dirt and shit that goes around. And you're just like, all right, you're sweeping it up.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (43:29.381)
yeah, I've had that happen.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (43:39.438)
I tell everybody I'm a lifted corner of this year. I don't give a shit. Just get them out of here. And then so yeah, I get in there and I do my thing. but yeah, that's, yeah, they come in in the dam this places and you know, lot of people that, know, if you're just starting out, you're just listening to this now. Yeah. Slabs are the worst. You know, usually they'll come up around the edges of the slab, but ever so often, especially in some of these older buildings with slabs, those cracks, those, those settled, they settle, they crack. Next thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire and you got ants, you know, ants flowing up everywhere.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (44:10.129)
And there's all different types of foundations. So you got to understand how the building is made to understand that. You got the monolithic one where it's all one piece from the footers to the wall, to the slab. You've got the supported slab, which the walls built on top of the slab. Then you got the floating slab where the concrete was poured inside the foundational walls, like you're filling up a pool. And all the ants come in differently depending on the construction of the building. So did termites. And you were saying about the termites coming up to the carpet.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (44:30.881)
Absolutely.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (44:38.985)
Remember that story I told about the office that had them coming up through the carpet in that warehouse because they had those little silicone seams between the slabs of the warehouse? And the place was filling up with termites, they'd come right up to the damn carpet.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (44:48.717)
Yep.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (44:53.643)
yeah, big time.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (44:56.125)
I got a story from Mr. Rodney, Rodney Broome, my good friend, our great Nova Scotian.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (45:04.782)
That's right. And General Badass extraordinaire.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (45:07.973)
yeah, Mr. Powerhouse Pest Control and a fantastic guest host. Absolutely exemplary guest host. Well, he goes, hey brother, fun little carp and ranch story for the show this week. Had a call for carp and ranch a few years back when I worked for Big Box. Really nice old couple had a guest cottage on their property. Their grandchildren were staying there at the time and they would snack in bed, excuse me, evenings.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (45:16.92)
He is.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (45:35.657)
They would wake up mornings with ants in their bed with them. No clue where they were coming from. I showed my pocket microscope and stethoscope in tow, identified them to be carpenter ants, and put some liquid ant bait in a few spots on the floor near where I saw a rotten corner outside. While I was chatting up the old gal, the ants made a nice little feeding line for me to follow back to the corner. I listened to that corner area and was able to track activity to a leaking window.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (45:58.542)
Mm-hmm.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (46:03.893)
Drilled a few pilot holes, filled them up with dry on ant dust, and the wall started to practically rumble. They were falling like Rome all around that window and even started to pop out from outlets and the ceiling fan. It was raining ants. The old gal called me the ant whisperer with glee as we watched the carnage collect. What a great day that was. That is a great day. That is the greatest feeling when you, like you were talking about putting the dust in that and just watching them come out. That's the greatest day I'm feeling.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (46:22.198)
Hahaha!

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (46:31.353)
huh.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (46:33.833)
That's to me that second to watching the big fat carpenter bee female come out of that hole after you blew it full of dust and she's in there going. Then she comes out and plop. Yep.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (46:33.856)
It is. It really is.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (46:41.018)
white and shit you can hear him in there it's not like Charlie Brown's teacher yeah

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (46:48.565)
Then she comes back and goes plop and leaves like a little bee outline on the ground. That's the best.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (46:52.038)
It's like to tape, it's like to tape around a dead body. fuck. God.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (46:57.873)
Yeah, exactly. It's like a crime scene with a big old fat female carpenter bee. That to me is the best. And the ants pouring out after a good treatment like that. That's the second best feeling. I love that.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (47:08.834)
Yeah, absolutely. It sure the fuck is. God damn it Jack, I'm getting a haircut tomorrow, I'm getting my beard worked on, I feel like, I look like Howard fucking Hughes over here.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (47:18.821)
All you need now is a spruce goose.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (47:21.492)
Spruce Goose and, you know, untrimmed nails.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (47:25.055)
Yeah, yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (47:26.606)
and walking around with my feet in Kleenex boxes.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (47:30.089)
Well, he was an insanely rich person, you know, and,

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (47:33.196)
He was. I would go to say that he was one of the elites.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (47:37.161)
I have to say, definitely an elite, almost like F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (47:42.126)
Indeed, yes, and absolutely.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (47:45.129)
But speaking of elite people, I wonder what Pest Control's like or anybody got any stories about doing Houses of the Rich and Famous and their pest control issues or for really, really ritzy homes. I know I've got some stories, but I think that might make a good episode for next Friday.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (48:00.245)
You

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (48:04.218)
I think it will too, like bug issues of the rich and famous. I'm Robin Leech and tonight we're going to do pest control services in homes that you could never possibly afford.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (48:15.871)
Cockroach is rich and famous, I don't know why!

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (48:18.958)
Okay, why? It's a nightmare going to visit the mousetraps of Adnan Khashoggi.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (48:27.239)
Well, I tell you, doing pest control in Northern Virginia, Fairfax, just outside of DC, I have done some fairly well-known people's homes for pest control. So I've got some definite stories from Washington Redskin football players to a Supreme Court judge.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (48:38.562)
Uh-huh.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (48:47.118)
I'm gonna need to rely on everybody else because I am Indianapolis, I'm in Indianapolis and if you're not an athlete or a politician, you are a broke ass bitch. you know, I'm looking forward to hearing everybody else's stories. Now, what we wanna do is we wanna make sure everything is anonymous and vague as possible regarding the person that you're gonna talk to us about. You you can say an athlete, you can say a prominent politician, you can say,

a well-known hooker. You can say, you know, an action movie star, but nothing else, nothing else. You know, we want to protect you. In fact, I don't want to even know your name. Tell us the story. You know, because, you know, we're not going to get on here and we're not going to use, we wouldn't use this as a platform for us to brag about the customers that we have and how famous they are and all this other good shit because that's just hoity-toity conceited and we don't need that.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (49:45.781)
And if you say who they are, they can pretty much nail it down to who might have said it, just cover your ass that way.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (49:45.87)
Winthrop J. Merriweather III (49:53.31)
Exactly we want to protect you the listener From yourself, but but no but but we do at the end of the day we'd love to hear the stories and because I think they're really interesting, know, you know, most of us just do Average Joe people, you know, you know, you know the lower Leo, you know lower income middle income everything like that But you know when you're doing somebody Elite

then you've got something going on. And we'd love to hear it, but we'd like you to be vague.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (50:27.529)
Yeah, send us your stories, get a hold of me on Facebook Messenger or Brad, Brad Harvey. On Facebook Messenger, can email me at Jack at tftc.wtf. We'll put something up on social media. can hit us up there or on a Facebook post that I'm sure Brad will get put up here sometime in the near future about the show coming up. We would love to hear about your pest issues of the rich and famous.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (50:53.664)
Absolutely. you know, in addition to that, Jack, on down the road, we've got a couple of good ideas for us from some of our listeners. And, you know, we definitely want it. We'll definitely talk about that. And, you know, if it's if it seems like something that we can do, then we'll definitely give it a try. You know, Jack and I, we're easy. You know, we're not we're not proud. We're whores. You know, you will put out. Yeah. Yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (51:11.475)
Yeah, send us Liam.

No, I'll put out. I'll always put out. It's a guaranteed put out night for, you know.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (51:21.582)
You may not eat ass on the first date, but he'll put out.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (51:24.757)
put out and I put it in my penis, I put my penis in.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (51:26.638)
Put it in, put it down, disco lady.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (51:29.397)
It's like doing the hokey pokey with my penis. I put your penis in, you take your penis out, take your penis in, and you shake it all about.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (51:31.854)
Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, oh, the way, you know, before, you know, I just wanted to let everybody know that I was kind of worried about a power outage here tonight. Not because we have any storms or anything, just because I've been cooped up in the house with this fucking eye for a long time and I'm just getting paranoid. So I made sure, I made sure that we had adequate light in case anything went down. know, zombie apocalypse, I'm ready.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (51:56.841)
Nice, very nice.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (51:58.478)
I would infiltrate their ranks and start eating people's brains.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (52:02.485)
Those are good for crawl spaces, but some places make you wear what they call a, I call them hard hats, a bump cap, fucking bump cap. Hard hats. It's like this one place where like, well, I was like, where's the B and G? He goes, oh, your hand can is over there. Fucking hand can? No, it's a B and G. I don't care if it's made by Hudson. don't, it's.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (52:08.642)
Boom cap, no they're hard hats. Yes.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (52:17.548)
hand can it's a B &G I don't care if as a Hudson shape and whatever it's a B &G

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (52:25.767)
Right, it's like when you get the cheap little wax coloring things from the dollar store, they're still fucking crayons. I don't care if they're not made by crayons, they're still crayons. Q-tips. Every time, every time. I don't care if they're Dollar Tree.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (52:33.07)
That's right.

cotton swabs. Fucking A there are Q-tips. That's right. And in some regions of the country, every fucking carbonated alcoholic beverage is a Coke.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (52:50.922)
it down south it's a coke.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (52:51.916)
And I never got that. I'm good with all the other ones, but I never got that one.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (52:56.199)
Out in the Midwest, it's a pap. Pap.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (52:58.262)
A pap, and a soda. It could be a soda or a pop in Indiana. Either one. But if it's a Coke, it's a fucking Coke. It's not anything else.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (53:02.601)
Gotcha. I know in Northwest Illinois it was a pop. Right. I was up Northwest Illinois at a Casey's and I got a pack of cigarettes, piece of pizza and a Dr. Pepper. She goes, you want your pop in the sack? I'm like, no, I don't want you to kick me in the nuts, but you can put my soda in the bag.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (53:14.678)
Of course.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (53:21.87)
Pop in the sack. I think she wanted you to pop in the sack. I think you missed an opportunity there, Jack.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (53:26.901)
I got a story about the Shakeys in Green Bay. I may have missed that one, but there was a Shakeys pizza in Green Bay that has a whole different story. They just, those girls up there just love the little Southern twang I got. So, yeah, can you say that again? That was super. It was fabulous.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (53:35.233)
Yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (53:42.952)
yeah, well, good. It's super. I love the northern, I love the northern central, northern Midwest accent for some reason. there's something just kind of wholesome about it.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (53:53.491)
Yeah. Yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (53:59.495)
I was up in Whiteside County near the Quad Cities between Illinois and Iowa. So I was up there near Moline, East Moline, Bettendorf, Iowa, and I had a Maid Wright sandwich. Remember the loose meat sandwiches from Roseanne? Those are good, man. Those Maid Wrights are really good.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (54:04.846)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (54:14.231)
you did with a loose meat sandwich, yeah.

Did leave a lot of gum on the wall outside?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (54:21.521)
No, I didn't. I didn't think too. I don't know. But I did style with the laundromat that had a bar in it, which I think is one of the best ideas ever. A laundromat with a bar, it's called Suds. It was the greatest thing. I think the only thing better than that would be a bar of catwalks above a Walmart. So like on Black Friday, you could have like Black Friday bingo and the winner gets like free drinks or a free appetizer. And like you get like

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (54:40.013)
Yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (54:45.806)
Yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (54:50.343)
Someone with a whale tail. That's one of the squares. Someone in slippers, a fist fight, a huge person on one of them scooters that actually gets up to get something off the top shelf. It's a miracle. That should be like a big old box, the Walmart miracle. I think that would be a great idea. But I tell you, a bar and a laundromat, it's a great fucking idea.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (55:06.318)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (55:10.574)
A bar and a laundry. Jack, if we had a bar and a laundry mat close to my house, I've got like five bricks out of my driveway. I would throw them in there and put it on the rinse and the spin cycle just to fucking break it so I could go drink and do laundry at the same time. Not that I can't do that here, but know, it's frowning fun. You know, the Mrs.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (55:20.469)
Hahaha!

Hell yeah, I'd be the best.

Well, you know, it's the atmosphere is different. You got other people drinking. I mean.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (55:32.332)
It is! You've got other people that have thrown bricks in their washing machine.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (55:36.061)
Ladies, you want to get your man to do laundry? Send him to a laundry method that has a bar in it.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (55:40.098)
That's the way to do it. Absolutely. So, Jack, no shit. So Jack, know, we have a great thing going here with the podcast, but we are not the only pest control podcast out there.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (55:43.253)
They'll never have to touch stitch clothes ever again. Yes, sir.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (55:53.693)
No, we are not. We absolutely are not. We happen to have two of the two wonderful ladies from Pestrogen podcast here in the chat with us today during the show. But we've also got another couple that we're pretty good friends with, such as Sean Muller's Pest Perspective podcast.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (56:10.409)
Best perspectives. had a great episode. had a great episode. And if you're listening to here and you are residing across the pond in Great Britain, Sean's podcast actually give you some credits.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (56:22.261)
Yeah, you get educational credits over there in the United Kingdom for his podcast and you learn something. No.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (56:24.844)
Yeah. I mean, yeah, you listen to us, you get absolutely nothing. you get entertained and that's what we're here for. We're not here to, we're not here to educate. We're not here to inform. We're here to fuck around and entertain.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (56:39.561)
But Sean is a mover and a shaker up in the pest control world in the United Kingdom. I think he's on the big committee up there and talking to a lot of big wigs. And yeah, he's doing fantastic. I really am proud of him for how far he's come. I think he's coming up on his 10th episode he said. Yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (56:41.859)
He is.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (56:59.586)
believe that I believe he is. Yep. On his 10th episode and you know, he's planning on you know, he's planning on doing a lot more. So, Jack and I, of course, we guessed it on one of his episodes and it was was amazing. Yeah, yeah, Sean is a great interviewer. And, you know, he asked some really good questions. And, you know, was very engaging. And yeah, we had a great time. And you know, I hope I hope one of these days that he he lets us on there again, I doubt it because you know, we do.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (57:10.195)
We did. We had a great time.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (57:29.486)
No, he's not gonna be able to apply for CEUs with us on.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (57:34.835)
Right, right. That's why we haven't been invited on the Pestrogen podcast, because we rub everybody their own.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (57:41.238)
We do, absolutely. But dog on it, we love them anyway. Pestrogen Podcast. What can we say about Candace Nordquist and Jenny Wilson? I'm winking, but you can't see it because I have my, but yeah, Candace and Jenny are great. It's pest control from a woman's perspective. they have some really great guests on, very informative.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (57:45.514)
Wink wink.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (58:06.334)
Yeah.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (58:07.98)
They, you know, we have people on that, you know, we just like to have fun with, know, Jiddy and Candice actually, you know, try to inform people, you know, get other people out there. Last week, you know, last week's episode with them was marketing with Jasmine from Jasmine to Pest Pro. And that was an amazing episode. You know, they really got to listen to a lot of good things coming from.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (58:28.435)
Mm-hmm. It was.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (58:36.652)
not just Jasmine, but the other two ladies as well. definitely, don't care, twigs or bushes, it doesn't matter, Testrogen podcast is a great one for you.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (58:47.477)
I got to tell you, I love the mosquito one. Before that, had someone with a mosquito company in Pennsylvania, and they also had a gentleman from Nigeria. with their, I think it's dengue fever is the big issue they have over there in Nigeria. And talking about how that massive mosquito pest pressure they have and how they deal with it, I think that was an amazing episode listening to how it contrasted and compared between the two completely different.

areas and that was a great guess. I really enjoyed that one too.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (59:18.579)
hell yeah.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (59:21.514)
he's chatting in chat.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (59:21.762)
Hang on, I'm talking to Candace. I'm typing in the chat now. When the fuck are you going to have us on?

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (59:27.797)
Candice, correct me, it's malaria. For some reason I was thinking dengue fever. I could have sworn Mr. Francis Nwapa, I think his name is. I think he mentioned that at some point.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (59:35.914)
I believe so, yeah. Yeah, very, yeah, an incredibly, incredibly informative show. So yeah, yeah, definitely. Pestrogen podcast. We've also got, there's a lot of other ones out there. mean, there is, what's the one? Beauty's and Beastie's out of UK, Bices of Kill. There's all kinds of podcasts out there. So definitely, we're making a mark on the podcast world.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (59:54.025)
Bees and beasties, we're gonna be on that show.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:00:05.182)
and as pest control. I'm not talking about me and Jack, but I'm talking about us as an industry. We're able, we can reach, we can reach each other through these podcasts as we're working. You got your earpiece in, you're driving along in your trucks and stuff like that. You got a car and just bitching the shit out of you, but that's cool because you've got pest perspectives on right now or pest or tails for the crawl space. You're just like, uh-huh, uh-huh.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:00:30.431)
That's right.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:00:35.07)
huh. Yeah. fuck. Jackie really said, huh. It's great. It's great. You know, we are in our own little world here and yeah, it's awesome.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:00:38.069)
J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:00:45.075)
Jen just mentioned in chat that those two guests from the Mosquito show, Francis and Sue Ann have partnered since to bring more awareness. And see, that might not have happened without their show. And I think that's amazing. That's absolutely amazing.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:00:55.874)
That's right. That's right. Bringing people together. That's what we're all about here. Definitely that's what they're all about.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:01:01.043)
And that, and Candice says, Candice says they're doing another podcast together on Sunday. That is fucking fantastic. And that was facilitated by the Pestrogen podcast. And I couldn't be more proud.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:01:09.39)
Aww.

Look at you two ladies, man. Boom, way to go, way to go. Jack and I could not be prouder of you two.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:01:14.547)
Hell yeah, that's fucking awesome.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:01:20.127)
Damn Skippy.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:01:21.294)
Yeah. Okay so- so we're gonna go with so we're gonna go with bug issues of the rich and famous next week.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:01:28.393)
Yep, that's right. That's right.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:01:30.443)
Okay, I'm gonna have some fun with this thumbnail.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:01:35.198)
yeah, I've got some stories and since I'm retired no one's gonna fire me and I'm not gonna say anything bad about the people but I'll have to tell my stories so it's gonna be good. It's gonna be good. I'm looking forward to it.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:01:43.214)
You know, we'd really appreciate that, because we'd really like to hear from you. Here, your perspective, LOL. You know what? Hey, I had a great time tonight with everybody. I've been really bummed out with his eye. And you know, first it was the knee, then it was the gallbladder, now it was the eye. I've really had a good time tonight, Jack, and I really appreciate you as a friend and getting me kind of of my cloudy spot. So love you, my brother.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:01:49.673)
Hehehehehe

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:02:10.153)
Hell yeah, brother. Love you, brother.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:02:11.93)
And okay, no people, we're not getting a room. So I guess that's all we got for tonight. So looking forward to seeing you all next week on, on bug issues of the rich and famous. So on behalf of, on behalf of Jack, on behalf of Pest Control Humor Depot, my favorite group and all the ladies at Pestrogen, the ladies at Pestrogen Pest Perspectives and all the other, and Tony Spangler at spanglerite.com. Jack and I wish you would.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:02:23.871)
That's right.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:02:38.548)
Mm-hmm.

Winthrop J. Merriweather III (01:02:40.666)
Fuck's sake, just bug off.

J. Thomas Starry Esq. (01:02:42.729)
Bug Off!