Pest Issues of the Rich and Famous

John Doe (00:01.24)
Good evening once again and welcome to another exciting episode of Tales from the Crawl Space podcast. I am your one-eyed host, Brad Harvey, overlord of PCHD, Pest Control Humor Depot, my favorite group, and with me as always is the lovely and personable and semi-hairless Jack. Jack, how's it going today?

Robin Leach (00:21.609)
Going good, feeling a little bit of a breeze here lately,

John Doe (00:24.47)
I bet you do, man. You're ventilated.

Robin Leach (00:26.9)
I know, it's so freeing, it's so breathy.

John Doe (00:29.198)
It's a freeing, yeah. Normally you would see Jack with hair sticking out of his hat and everything, but he's gone from the beard of wisdom to the goatee of greatness. And so he's also done a number on the top of his head too. So get on his OnlyFans and you'll be able to see it.

Robin Leach (00:45.193)
I have.

Damn right, well this is by special request. gotta turn the turn the hat around first. I was told this would be hot so there there's there's the hotness. Yeah, bro. No cap.

John Doe (00:54.676)
Okay. So, so like every third word you're going to say is bruh. Bruh. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be no cat. You're going be talking about flavor town and shit.

Robin Leach (01:04.149)
That's my flavor saver. that count? See? There you go.

John Doe (01:07.918)
Yeah, now those flavor town it would be like this you'd have your glasses on the back of your head and you'd be saying stuff like money and flavor town and

Robin Leach (01:18.858)
This Monday day, yo. Bro. Bruh.

John Doe (01:20.354)
Yeah, so, yeah. Again, welcome to Tales from the Crawl Space. are TFTC Live. Get on a chat with us, folks. And yeah, let's talk and see what you got to say. And well, shit, what happened here? Okay, we are talking about pest issues of the rich and farmers tonight.

Robin Leach (01:28.448)
Hot damn.

Robin Leach (01:39.734)
The rich and famous, I'm Robin Leeds, you ought to know why!

John Doe (01:42.99)
I don't know why!

Robin Leach (01:48.662)
We got a bunch of good stories for this even though with some rich and famous people and I got a few of myself from my own. So I remember since you're looking for something. I was working out near Ashburn, Virginia, which is where a lot of the Washington Redskins live. There's a place called Ashburn Village. I did this one player's house and brand new massive mansion of a house had

John Doe (02:09.069)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (02:18.196)
Maybe he must have just got in there and just got the service set up because his office area, if you go straight to the back of the house and you end up in like the dining, kitchen, dining area, if you go to the left, there's this little octagonal room with French doors with his desk. And this guy, first of all, he's fucking gigantic. Voice, real deep voice, know, real, real deep. And had his his accomplishments and his blandishments all over the wall.

John Doe (02:36.248)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (02:39.671)
Robin Leach (02:44.666)
all of all this pictures and all kinds of stuff and his college jersey and a shadow box and everything and everything else in the house was on the floor leaned up against the wall it's like and his wife was like i've got to go get some more stuff i'm gonna get some more paintings and everything and like these paintings still have the price tags on them like 2500 painting on the wall you know on lean lean against the wall get ready to be put up all this shit she's just so damn happy he must have just got the contract and got his got his advance because

John Doe (02:44.898)
Uh-huh.

John Doe (03:03.737)
huh. Yeah.

Robin Leach (03:14.198)
She apparently went on a shopping, fucking shopping spree. Um, fantastic guy, really nice guy. Um, yeah. Uh, he was, don't know if he still plays for the Redskins or not. I don't, I don't follow the foosball that much because foosball is the devil. But, uh, but, I don't, I don't really follow the foosball too much, but, uh, I don't know if you're still playing for him or not. Cause I was doing it a long time and I'm old, so he could have retired by now.

John Doe (03:16.342)
Yeah. shit.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

John Doe (03:28.632)
Foosball is a devil.

John Doe (03:39.31)
Yeah, that reminds me, we did get a lot of guest contributions today. A lot of listener contributions. And I want to thank everybody for chipping in to help make this show actually be something other than me and Jack just shooting the shit with each other for an hour. You mentioned something about the Washington Redskins. I want to go ahead and lead off into a real brief one here that we got.

Again, we are going to be a not completely 100 % anonymous tonight. We don't want any of you getting into trouble, but we would love to hear your story. So we're going to be as vague and, and, you know, as possible. you, Jackie mentioned about Washington Redskins. This, this guy is like, howdy Mr. Harvey, longtime listener, first time caller. So he'll be gentle. Longtime first time caller. Just wanted to put my input in for the podcast. Not really sure if it counts or not. And it's not an a-lister.

Robin Leach (04:25.738)
Hahaha!

John Doe (04:34.818)
But when I was with my first company, I serviced the house of the CNN Pentagon correspondent. That was interesting, LOL. A bunch of my techs at that company got to service Washington Redskins football players while I get stuck with this one.

Robin Leach (04:48.493)
Hehehehehe

John Doe (04:50.542)
I was like, shit. man. yeah, absolutely. You may have flipped him off a few times or he may have flipped you off.

Robin Leach (04:53.206)
Well, I know what area they were servicing, so.

Robin Leach (04:59.606)
That's much stomping grounds, so at least it was until I moved out to the mountains.

John Doe (05:03.07)
absolutely. Yeah, Jack, I'm having, I'm having issue with my chat. I'm on studio chat.

Robin Leach (05:09.088)
What the hell are on a studio chat for?

John Doe (05:10.85)
I don't know, there we go, it's live stream chat. God damn it, there ain't nobody on there. Where's our regulars?

Robin Leach (05:12.778)
Gotta go to live stream chat, that's right. we got two listeners right now so far. So we're getting there, we just started. It'll happen, it'll happen. Yep, that's where you're supposed to be. Well, it's them fancy calculators.

John Doe (05:21.908)
Alright, very good, very good. I'm supposed to be on livestream chat, right? You think I'd know this shit by now?

It's we had no doubt. So anyway, when we were talking about the episode, that last week on, on, on, you know, last week's episode, you know, I had mentioned that I live in Indianapolis. So, you know, if you're not a, you know, if you're not a politician or an athlete, you're basically a broke ass bitch. so I don't have a whole lot of brushes with greatness, or fame, for that matter, but I do have, I do have some rich, I do have a couple of rich stories. one of which,

Robin Leach (05:40.598)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (06:00.942)
If you're old enough to remember the firm called Conceco, it was an insurance firm and they got into a lot of hot water with their embezzlement and shit like that. The CEO went down, his minions went down. One of those minions was one of my customers. going into their house, I go into this place and it's just like,

way too ornate for Indiana. I mean, it's just like, know, aristocratic, erudite looking, eyes wide shut bullshit. you know, I go in and I met with the house manager who escorts me into a room off to the main door where I am, I am there. She is rattling down the rules of the house. If Mr. and Mrs. G.

Robin Leach (06:44.95)
the house manager.

John Doe (06:57.526)
or the hello Candace, if Mr. and Mrs. G are in your presence, you are not to address them unless they address you.

Robin Leach (07:03.892)
Wow.

John Doe (07:05.224)
If you see Mr. and Mrs. G into a room and you cannot, you know, and if you can, you are to leave the room immediately until they are, they are gone and you can return to service.

Shoe covers are being worn at all times. I get that. This was before shoe covers were de-reguer. I got all that. And I had to sign thing. Anything that is broken, damaged, or otherwise marred by you will be replaced to you at full market price. I was like, we gotta stop there. I I need to call my manager. And I called my manager, what'd he say? Well, don't break anything. You fucking tool. You fucking tool.

Robin Leach (07:28.052)
Right.

Robin Leach (07:39.807)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (07:45.479)
Jesus Christ.

John Doe (07:49.418)
So anyway, at the end of it all, I had to sign this thing that had about 40 fucking items which were just like incredibly stupid shit. And I managed to get the job done. She was happy and everything. I never ran into Mr. or Mrs. G the whole time I was there. Thank God. They were too busy spending imbezzled money buying.

ridiculously stupid or stupidly or Nate houses, et cetera. And so that's that. The other one was the late former CEO of a resort condominium on an that's international firm who lived in central Indiana. I never went into her house, but I felt like I was in some sort of weird

Robin Leach (08:35.85)
Mm-hmm

John Doe (08:47.394)
Romanesque porn movie when I was doing their outside. I mean it was yeah like Caligula in a way But yeah, I mean just it was just decked out to the night and so yeah dragging hose around that place trying to do the outside that was that was a barrel of laughs because everything I bumped into I bumped into so many naked cherub statues and and and and and those stupid-ass dolphin looking things and and and shit

Robin Leach (08:51.902)
Like Caligula?

You

John Doe (09:15.31)
Yeah, it was crazy. um, yeah, I could, you know, everybody sees it's, this is just my opinion, but everybody sees that kind of stuff. And, know, especially when you're a pest control tech, you're seeing dollar signs and everything. That's all well and good. Sometimes it's just not worth the hassle. You know, I mean, you, you, you, you're asking for a lot of trouble. If you, you break something or in certain cases actually fucking say good morning to the homeowner. Um,

Robin Leach (09:32.437)
No.

Robin Leach (09:43.192)
Fuck that.

John Doe (09:44.224)
Yeah, it was crazy. So I can take or leave them to be honest with.

Robin Leach (09:47.574)
There's two places I did not service one was a customer that one of my technicians used to service and the other one was Somewhere I never got a chance to actually go and I didn't want it because the guy was a dick and thank you Candace for commenting on my hair. I appreciate that but My little it's it's it's it's prickly. It's prickly First was a local weatherman for the DC area

John Doe (10:02.926)
that hair or lack thereof.

John Doe (10:09.26)
Yeah.

John Doe (10:15.117)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (10:16.348)
Absolute dick. a dick. Well, exotic tales watching from Kokomo, Indiana. Affordable pest management. We love listening to you guys. Fucking awesome. Thank you very much. Very cool. Weatherman was just an asshole. He puts on this nice persona for TV, but just a complete dick. And the second one is when I was with Pome Hair Mount, there was the family, you know those...

John Doe (10:32.269)
Yeah.

John Doe (10:36.386)
you

Robin Leach (10:46.218)
Getz's Caramel Creams. I know they're so fucking good. I grew up loving those things. And the Getz's factory was in my service area and the company I was with serviced them. So we had to call to set up a special meeting. And I called and I spoke to one of the Getz's himself. And I said, sir, I just want to let you know, I grew up.

John Doe (10:53.358)
this next.

John Doe (10:58.52)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (11:15.446)
eating that candy and there's so many good memories behind it. I just I just want to tell you how much I mean to me. He goes, you trying to tell me you want some for free? I was like, what? No, that just I was complimenting you and telling you that that had a played a big part in the life of being a kid and he's just complete asshole. I'm like, fuck. And I sent the other service man like, fuck, you're going. I'm not going. I'm going to punch this motherfucker in mouth.

John Doe (11:19.307)
yeah.

John Doe (11:39.118)
Fuck it, what a dickhole. I've never had that happen. Holy shit, That's... No kidding. Oh my god.

Robin Leach (11:47.413)
What a dick.

Robin Leach (11:51.902)
But you know that dude's fucking loaded. Come on.

John Doe (11:53.934)
yeah, yeah, he's loaded. Was he old?

Robin Leach (11:58.39)
I don't know, it didn't sound young.

John Doe (12:01.518)
Oh, didn't sound young? Yeah, he's probably just a bitter old man. He's probably tired. Probably tired of those goddamn kids asking for free candy and...

Robin Leach (12:04.276)
Hey, you don't...

Robin Leach (12:10.954)
I'll just be in complimentary, asshole! What the fuck?

John Doe (12:13.58)
Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what though, my bride Ellen, she works part time at a well-known chocolates and caramel store that's here in Indiana, just in Indiana. And you talk about those Getz's caramel creams, they make a caramel cream. Jack, I will get you some and send them to you. I mean, it's totally, I didn't know you liked them so much.

Robin Leach (12:24.892)
huh.

Robin Leach (12:34.856)
you

Okay, that sounds good. my God.

John Doe (12:40.398)
And I know you're diabetic, but I don't give a fuck. This is worth not feeling your feet for. Okay, now the getses, right? They're the little round coin-shaped fuckers, right? Okay, these dudes are long and cylindrical. know, like a, what are they, sugar babies? Or like a Tootsie Roll. You know, about the size of the smaller version of the Tootsie Roll, right? Dude, okay, caramel, cream, caramel.

Robin Leach (12:46.102)
Ha ha ha!

Robin Leach (12:58.206)
Like the cow tails, like the cow...

Robin Leach (13:03.829)
Yeah, yeah.

John Doe (13:08.078)
It's not a cum shot right in the middle of the whole caramel. It's like the cream is sandwiched all the way through the caramel. fuck me, yes, yes. Yeah, but this is nothing like an Andes mint. This is like a roll, like a tiny twig of caramel. It's got caramel, then the cream, and then the caramel. Holy shit, Jack. my God. me, my pancreas, my...

Robin Leach (13:11.786)
Suck a wafer.

Robin Leach (13:17.212)
like those thin mints.

The Andes mints that would, you get the chocolate mint, chocolate.

Robin Leach (13:33.748)
Me and my pancreas are gonna go masturbate now.

John Doe (13:37.996)
My pain is Chris. My pain is.

Robin Leach (13:40.64)
My penis? Alright Zippy's pop, good to see ya. He's a fuck yeah.

John Doe (13:44.814)
Zippy's pop, hey yeah, fuck yeah, indeed, my man. Or woman, I don't know. I don't know, is Zippy's pop a female name word? I'm assuming gender here. Don't you.

Robin Leach (13:57.194)
You better get your pronouns right there, buddy.

John Doe (13:59.79)
I'm them pronouns. All right. Let's get back to some of the stories here. All right, we've got a guy, another brief one. A couple of these were brief and some of them were just like really, really barn burners here. But John Doe Two says, my favorite well-to-do customer owned high-end town homes, apartments and patio homes, commercial plaza. If he was my last stop, he always offered me water, Gatorade.

Robin Leach (14:07.199)
Alright.

John Doe (14:28.46)
or invited me to his family dinner, super down to earth. Now, we talk about the hoity and the toity, but there's some of these people that are just really fucking awesome, And so we definitely gotta give props to them. some of the wealthier people, like I said, broke ass bitch, central Indiana, really nice people.

Robin Leach (14:39.402)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

John Doe (14:55.594)
I had one of my cohorts on a company, I'm not gonna say which company or anything, but actually got to service the home of a former vice president and was treated very well by his spouse and even got a hat. So I got a hat out of it, which was awesome.

And speaking of that, that hat that I had on last week that lit up and blinded everybody that was on YouTube watching us, that came from another well-to-do customer who was a distributor of these things. So yeah, mean, there are some really nice people. But all right, let's get back to the assholes.

Robin Leach (15:39.432)
Okay, well, just for someone who was relatively cool, a long time ago, I serviced, the guy's dead, so he can't sue me. Supreme court justice Antonin Scalia.

John Doe (15:53.549)
is that the guy that got serviced when he was on vacation?

Robin Leach (15:56.918)
I don't know if it was or not, I just know that his family was really, really beautiful home, absolutely gorgeous home. The family was just, I mean, he kept his entire, like a couple generations of family in that massive house and they were the nicest fucking people. They really were. The Scalia family, really nice people.

John Doe (15:59.202)
huh.

John Doe (16:09.144)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (16:13.454)
huh, yeah Scalia. Yeah, I think Anton the Scalia is the one that got Arkansas. It's gotta grill!

Robin Leach (16:18.488)
Scotty Grill, that's who it is.

John Doe (16:25.395)
man. Yeah. He must've heard us talking about where your ears burning Scotty.

Robin Leach (16:30.198)
Okay, I got one. The second part I'm gonna have to leave out a lot because it gives away this person's relative location. I once did a job for a woman and while I was there, I knocked over my ladder making a small hole in the wall. I called my boss and told him what happened and he told me to Google a name. To my horror, a notorious underworld figure pops up. My boss said that's his wife.

John Doe (16:39.31)
Okay.

Robin Leach (16:57.022)
I broke several road laws driving to the hardware store to get materials to fix that wall. For the life of me, I can't remember his name, but was connected to the Such and Such family. I'm leaving that out. And then he said, I also used to Such and Such's mansion, which was five acres, which was five acres in the heart of a place that would give it away, damn it. A very...

John Doe (17:23.224)
Ha

Robin Leach (17:23.976)
A very wealthy inner city suburb. has its own desalination plant for bore water. I guess when they're... So yeah.

John Doe (17:30.19)
wow. Yeah.

I'm answering somebody here. You know what? I'm just going to say it. Exotic Tales, I am sipping Evan Williams Bottled and Bond. If you're a long time listener to the show, you know that this is my retirement bourbon because it's cheap. don't let the cheapness fool you. It is tasty shit. It's aged for just under six weeks and is very, it's a flavorful Jack. I mean, it does.

Robin Leach (18:00.886)
It's the flavor.

John Doe (18:02.382)
It's got just a hint of sweetness and it tastes like the Rick house. It's flavor betrays its young age. They say the older the berry, the sweeter the juice. Not the case with this one. This is a young bourbon bottled in bond, so it doesn't have to be aged very well. A hundred proof. Check it out. I mean, it's really good. anywhere from doing $20, $25 a bottle, it's worth a shot.

Yeah, Evan Williams bottled in bonds when I'm sippin' on, so Exotic Tales, thanks for asking.

Robin Leach (18:36.842)
I got one that says, me anonymous, but you can add that I did the pest control for the former CEO of Under Armour and that I had a guy get confrontational about a $5 price increase while wearing a t-shirt from Balenciaga. I looked up the exact shirt, it cost $900 and driving a Maserati. Now I know the CEO of Under Armour, he...

John Doe (19:02.018)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (19:03.786)
His first year at my military school was the year after I graduated. So I've had run-ins with the guy before. I'm familiar.

John Doe (19:06.222)
Okay.

John Doe (19:11.394)
Yeah, yeah, me, I'd put on a $900 shirt and douse it in Old Spice.

Robin Leach (19:16.547)
Well, Old Spice is the only way to go.

John Doe (19:19.086)
It is, you know, I know I enjoy it. I layer myself with Old Spice now. I use the swag. You know, I have the shampoo, I have the body wash, and I have the deodorant, and I also have the body spray, you know.

Robin Leach (19:29.142)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

John Doe (19:36.204)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (19:36.736)
Well, there's this North Carolina place that makes this castle soap and they have a tobacco and vanilla scent and it is sexy. It's manly and sexy and I quite enjoy it.

John Doe (19:43.65)
Ooh, yeah.

John Doe (19:48.184)
Now, I've got three bars from my good friend Gribble. I got them for Christmas. It's Everyman Jack soap, no relation to this Man Jack. But I love the scent of it, but it's the Flavor Stripe gum of soaps.

Robin Leach (19:56.054)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (20:10.486)
The scent lasts like two minutes, that what you're saying?

John Doe (20:14.35)
The suit's gone by the time I step out of the shower and my ass off.

Robin Leach (20:17.366)
Now see if it was if it was this Jack that smell would last all day long

John Doe (20:24.427)
I know, I smelled it before. Smells like Lucky Stanks and beer.

Robin Leach (20:26.326)
It's the man-scent.

Damn right. But don't worry, I washed my paint so that smells nice.

John Doe (20:35.298)
Now, okay, I'm gonna take your word for that, Jack. I do not need any proof to that.

Robin Leach (20:41.398)
What I'm drinking is to be good to my pancreas. I'm drinking from the little lemonade from Giant grocery store. It's got only two grams of sugar in it. So not too shabby. Right, but it's.

John Doe (20:53.966)
Wow, wow. And it's not a sugar-free, because it's got two grains of sugar. What else has it got in it? Has it got urethra-tol or?

Robin Leach (21:03.198)
No, it's just lemon and other natural flavors. Other natural flavors, which means they could like squeeze out someone's armpit skin tags and get a nice strip of flavor in there from that.

John Doe (21:09.23)
Okay.

John Doe (21:17.548)
Yeah, like beaver anal glands that everybody says they use for vanilla flavor. Yeah, Castoria. Yeah.

Robin Leach (21:22.462)
Castorium, yes Castorium. Exotic Tales says I'm a bourbon fan so definitely we'll give it a shot. Awesome.

John Doe (21:30.624)
Alright, good on you man. I'm telling you what, you'll probably like it. badass is on.

Robin Leach (21:34.358)
there you go. Candice said, I serve as a vacation home of a well-to-do family that owns lots of hotels, pubs and breweries in Washington, Oregon. They are wonderful people and I'm happy that I get to help. I tell you, some people don't let the money turn them into assholes and that's great. It really is.

John Doe (21:49.294)
Like I said, yeah.

Oh yeah, exactly. Money changes people. You never know, before they had money they could have been incredible assholes, but now that they got money they're nice. But it doesn't matter, they're nice now. That's what matters. They get a four, yeah, I can buy nice.

Robin Leach (21:58.399)
It does.

Robin Leach (22:08.458)
that can afford to be nice.

Robin Leach (22:13.354)
Well, I know I'd be a lot happier if I could not feel bad about how much I spend on beef jerky.

John Doe (22:19.202)
God, yeah, Jack Links, know, I probably built Jack Links as one of his houses.

Robin Leach (22:28.209)
I'm that way with Fritos. Someone's got an extra boat because of my love for Fritos. I fucking love Fritos.

John Doe (22:33.582)
Oh, Fritos, Fritos rock. Oh my God. The jalapeno Fritos are even, are very good too. Oh yeah, I can't find, we can't find them anywhere anymore. They were there a couple years ago, now they're gone. And that's always the way, that's what's known as Harvey luck. Yeah, Harvey luck is I like something, okay? I buy it. That's good, okay, I buy it again. And then the third time I go out and buy it, poof, discontinued. It's gone.

Robin Leach (22:38.558)
You were saying something about those. I remember you talking about those.

Robin Leach (22:53.29)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (23:00.064)
Well, let's see if Mr. Powerhouse gets this reference. Jalapenos, some jalapeno flavored Fritos, some jalapenos. You'll have to be a rocket appliance to figure that out.

John Doe (23:07.096)
Chalapenos, yeah. no, and the Cheetos. think Candice and I were discussing the jalapeno Cheetos at one time. Jalapeno cheddar.

Robin Leach (23:12.65)
Hehehehe

Robin Leach (23:20.212)
Have you checked Amazon to see if you can get them Fritos?

John Doe (23:23.51)
I have not, but god damn it, I don't wanna pay Amazon prices. Ellen will get it on sale or Candice just bought it back today. I'm so jealous and shit like that. Now jalapeno Cheetos I can find. It's those Fritos, it's those fucking Fritos, man. It's like nowhere. I bet they are on Amazon, but like I said, I don't wanna pay Amazon prices for that shit.

Robin Leach (23:49.184)
Candace got the reference, she goes, Ricky.

John Doe (23:51.756)
Ricky. So, all right. We got, we got a couple of other, other ones. We've got this one from Ron White. And he was talking about, he's got, he gave us, actually gave us two stories. The first story is when I was servicing a high-end rental and one of the members of the rep group Migos was staying at the rental unbeknownst to me before arriving.

Robin Leach (24:06.998)
Okay.

John Doe (24:17.73)
The chain he was wearing around his neck probably cost way more than my work truck did. Super nice guy, terrified of spiders. Asked if I wanted to hit his blunt after I was finished with my service. Damn. I had a nursing home to service, so the last thing I wanted is for them old folks to judge me due to the smell. And I was admitting if I had hit the blunt. Also, I hadn't touched the stuff in many years, so I responded with no thanks, but I will shoot some dice for the ice around your neck.

We had a good laugh. Sadly, just being in the house with all of his weed made my work clothes smell and I still got judged by the old folks at the home after I was done with that service. So I should have just said, fucking burn one with him.

Robin Leach (25:01.302)
That's what Axe body spray is for, man. Keep a can of the truck. Just hose yourself down. I know in the middle of the summer, man, I start smelling like armpit and podusie after a long hot day. And I've been sweating and then getting crusty and then sweating and getting crusty. And it's just stanky. So I used to keep like the Old Spice body spray. I'd keep some of that and kind of hose myself down a little bit before I had to go inside someone's house if I knew I had an interior.

John Doe (25:03.765)
hell yeah man. Yep, exactly.

John Doe (25:12.41)
smoked ass.

Robin Leach (25:31.285)
I'd have to do that.

All right, we got one. TFTC Celebrity Encounter. I've always said that this job is like a game show. You never know what's behind door number one. Back in 2012, I was slogging my way through a low income housing complex. You know the scene. Battling roaches and tenants, trying to make a difference, but most times you can't. So I knock on this one door and this older disheveled man opens the door and welcomes me in. The place was a shithole and he really needed my service.

Saw went about my business and did what I could do. I needed to get his signature, but he was in the back room and I had to stand there a moment waiting on him. I'm kind of looking around and I see these two beautiful high-end guitars resting in stands in the corner of the room. Hmm. I started looking at the framed pictures on the wall and saw some album covers and a framed magazine cover. The photo on the magazine cover was none other than the wheezing old man in the dirty t-shirt that I was waiting on.

Just so happens that when not solving the world's pest problems, I'm a musician, and at that time I was in the middle of recording an album. So when he came out, I introduced myself and I asked him what all the music stuff in his apartment was about. He told me his name. Holy shit. I then shook hands with a jazz legend. So we bullshitted for a while, asking each other questions about what we were up to musically. It was fantastic.

John Doe (26:53.613)
You

John Doe (27:01.282)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (27:02.122)
He said that he was ill and couldn't travel anymore and it was pretty much done with the music scene. I got my signature autograph from him and went on my way. At the end of the day, I called my producer and told him what had happened. We have to get this guy to play on the project, he said. I'll give it a shot. So the next month I returned to his humble home and was greeted in a very friendly manner. I did my roach thing that as I was making my exit, I worked up the nerve to ask him.

John Doe (27:19.075)
yeah.

Robin Leach (27:30.41)
to play for us, explaining that we would send a car for him and that the studio was only 45 minutes away. He paused, then shook my hand and said, sure, I can do that. Not trying to contain my excitement, I asked the big question, how much is this going to cost us? I braced myself. How about a hundred bucks and some Budweiser? Later that night,

At the music studio, we're all high-fiving each other over our victory and went to finding the right song and immediately started recording the backup tracks for our hero. This was tricky because it wasn't a jazz album. But over the next couple weeks, we did it. Now, the problem was that my new hero didn't have a telephone, so my only way to contact him was knocking on his door. The next monthly service came around and I showed up at his door with a CD with the song on it to present to him. There was no answer. Son of a bitch.

John Doe (28:04.674)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (28:23.124)
So a few weeks later, I stopped to see him again. No answer again. His next scheduled service was in a few weeks, so I waited it out. And again, no one home. So I went to the rental office to review my work from that morning with the manager. I casually asked about the tenant in 3B. Turns out he had died, cancer. They were in the process of cleaning out his unit. I was stunned, sad and disappointed.

Selfishly, I was bummed that we could never play together, then realized how lucky I was to even have met the man. You never know what's behind door number one until you knock. And he goes on to say, in the rest of the conversation I have with him, he goes, we touch a lot of people in this business. And it's true, we do.

John Doe (28:59.662)
Exactly.

John Doe (29:05.752)
We do, we do. Yeah. I'm glad he added that. Cause you know, I think we forget about that sometimes, you know, in our travels. We do, we really do. And, you know, I can think of several different instances where a customer, they don't have to be famous. They don't have to be rich, but dog on it. From the big green tee up until now, my beloved trio, there are people that, you know, they just burrow into your heart and stay there.

Robin Leach (29:35.37)
Yep, yep, I just got a message from one of our good friends and listeners, said, did rats for one of the writers for Sons of Anarchy TV show. Fucking cool dude, showed me all his signed scripts and set pictures. That's cool as hell.

John Doe (29:49.518)
Huh? Wow. Yeah. I've got one here at Rich and Famous in the chat. It said, former company I worked for in the 90s had a sexual predator that loved young guys.

Robin Leach (30:01.451)
What?

John Doe (30:01.868)
and every new tech that got sent to his house and he would lock every door behind us as we would do his service.

Robin Leach (30:11.05)
Jesus Christ.

John Doe (30:12.854)
No, right? Good grief. Yeah. It's like, hey, I'd like you to meet Prince William.

Robin Leach (30:15.242)
Nah, I-I-I-

Robin Leach (30:21.466)
Did he do Jeffrey Epstein's house? that what it was? Or did he's or did he's house?

John Doe (30:24.85)
my God, yeah. Or did he say, yeah, that's more diddy. That's more diddy than Jeffy.

Robin Leach (30:32.438)
This is not a rich and famous thing, but to kind of piggyback on the sexual predator thing, I had this house, this guy had a bunch of paintings that he did of half naked little children all over the walls and leaning up against the walls on the floor, all over the basement. And it was just creepy as shit. And the guy just kind of gave you this weird vibe, just...

John Doe (30:46.19)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (31:00.136)
Even if I hadn't seen the basement, I still would have been creeped out. You know, I was like, it's fucking weirdo, dude. Then I go down there, I'm like, what the fuck, man? And I heard I've got the service done and I went back, I said, don't ever send me back to that fucking house again. Fucking weirdo.

John Doe (31:04.62)
Yeah. Yeah.

John Doe (31:12.846)
Not yet. That's what I like about looking the way I do. Pedophiles had absolutely no interest in me. So I was good there. yeah, Zippy's pop. My six was definitely covered.

Robin Leach (31:33.302)
But you're so sexy, Brad. I can only imagine as a strapping young lad. Would you like some popsicles? I got some popsicles in the basement.

John Doe (31:37.102)
Oh yeah, now! yeah. There it is! Come here little boy. Yes, yes. You can take your shirt off if you like.

Robin Leach (31:47.188)
Stick your hand down in my pocket, get you a piece of gum. You fat son a bitch.

John Doe (31:50.318)
Get your fat ass back here.

Robin Leach (31:56.928)
You guys are living my paper? I got some good news! Got some good news for ya!

John Doe (31:58.764)
Hahahaha!

man, huh shit. Let's see now that the lady the ladies have showed up so it's getting a little thirsty in here. So I'm gonna take a sip of my My delicious sweet tea that is that is as being inside and staying nice and cold in my Tony Spangler tumbler from Spangler art comm jack

Robin Leach (32:13.521)
Robin Leach (32:26.016)
That's beautiful.

John Doe (32:27.276)
How about you, man? Let's talk about these graphics. Holy sheep shit, there's the Joker. And these things are just absolutely amazing in their functionality and their style. I mean, you know, the graphics pop out wonderfully. We've got our beautiful PCHD emblem here. We've got a couple of good handsome bearders. This is what Jack used to look like before he joined the Marines. And this is me as usual.

Robin Leach (32:37.654)
they are, they're beautiful.

Yes they are.

John Doe (32:55.63)
And of course, every Tony Spangler Tumbler comes with Jack.

Robin Leach (32:59.658)
The rubber bottom, the beautiful rubber bottom.

John Doe (33:01.996)
That's right, Jack. And of course, any graphic that you want, if you can think it, he can make it. and his lovely wife Leanne do an amazing job on these fuckers. of course, Tumblr from Tony Spangler at spanglerart.com would be complete without the one and only.

Robin Leach (33:10.368)
That's right.

Robin Leach (33:25.206)
Day of the Streel, Surgical Grid, Urethral Sounding Rod.

John Doe (33:27.342)
with a sounding rod. This thing does the trick every time. It clears, it'll get the beverage out of your tumbler and it'll get the scar tissue out of your panus.

Robin Leach (33:39.488)
And you can get the, so you can get the beverage out of your body.

John Doe (33:42.402)
That's right too, you know, cause after all, don't buy drinks, we rent them. you know, evacuation of these is so important in this day and age, actually in any day and age. if you got the good ice in your tumbler, you know that good ice I'm talking about, the kind y'all can chew. This sucker right here, if you got the good ice in there and you kind of do some of this, those razor sharp edges are gonna cut right through it you're gonna get one of little ice turds build up in this thing.

Robin Leach (34:00.256)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (34:08.81)
Guess I will.

John Doe (34:12.078)
nothing better on a hot summer day. And this sucker, I'm telling you why. put, it looks like Jack's getting ready for a court date. I put ice and beverage in this thing last, a couple Fridays ago, did the show, Sunday, I'd forgotten about it, sat on my kitchen counter, because I'm a slob. Sunday morning, I got up and took it and shook it and there was still ice in this son of a bitch. mean, damn near two days, I stayed in this sucker.

Robin Leach (34:20.096)
Hahaha!

Robin Leach (34:37.493)
Yep.

John Doe (34:41.806)
I attributed it all to the double walled insulation to the stainless steel tumbler. And of course, I did have my urethral sounding rod in there, so everything's good when you got that. So with the graphics, the insulating power, the rubber bottom, the urethral stainless steel sounding rod, I mean, it's got it all. So if any of that is what you need, remember. If the gaffer room needs reach for Tony's steel.

Robin Leach (35:05.846)
If you got peronies, reach for tonies, still your ethereals sounding run.

John Doe (35:20.457)
man, Jack, why don't you tell them where they can get a jingle just like that?

Robin Leach (35:23.52)
That's right, if you go on Facebook to the page JTStoryVO, which stands for voiceovers, JTStoryVO on Facebook, you can contact him there, leave him a message and you can get jingles, music, podcast intros, all kinds of stuff. He's in the market to do audio books as well and voiceovers for animation. So JTStoryVO on Facebook is where you can find him.

John Doe (35:53.506)
Yeah, Jack's Jack and Jack's boy JT always does our intros as well. So thanks for that. And yeah, it's awesome. He's an awesome guy and you won't be disappointed in what he did.

Robin Leach (36:05.686)
Speaking of the proficiency of the Tony Spangler Tumbler, when I go to see JT tomorrow, I've got a 120 mile drive. I'll make my coffee before I leave in the morning and that damn stuff is still almost too hot to drink after a 120 mile drive.

John Doe (36:19.918)
I put it in one of those jacks, because it is. It's always too damn hot for me. I'll forget about it. It's like 10 minutes later, I'll go grab it. be driving, go grab it. like, son of a bitch! I got a mouthful of seared flesh. so I typically use mine just for the cold stuff. But yeah, definitely. mean, if you're brave enough for the hot stuff to go in there, yeah, it's definitely the thing to do.

Robin Leach (36:31.414)
Yeah

Robin Leach (36:46.934)
Well, I got to drop an ice cube in it first so I can actually drink it on the way up there.

John Doe (36:51.891)
see, then that dilutes it, and I, I'll wait.

Robin Leach (36:54.368)
But not if you take an ice cube tray and put coffee in it, dammit.

John Doe (36:58.222)
Oh fuck, okay, Heloise, thanks for the tip. Shit. Oh man, I got another story here, Jack. And this is the last one I got, so this is gonna shoot my wad. Then we're raw dogging it from this point out. So, it was Christmas at a very touristy ski resort town. I had this property manager that I no longer work with because they were too much of a nutcase, but I digress. I think we've all had those.

Robin Leach (37:00.054)
Hahaha!

Robin Leach (37:06.07)
Alright, let me hear it. Let me hear it, god damn it.

John Doe (37:27.854)
On this day, the manager told me that he had a very influential client coming into town and I had to be on my A game, which I always am, but this property manager never seemed to think so. I was beneath them, I guess. I guess they were elite. She said the client came into a room I was in. I was not to look at them or address them. Okay, now that sounds familiar.

Robin Leach (37:37.545)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (37:54.058)
Uh-huh.

John Doe (37:55.064)
don't play that shit. Who was this? The king of Saudi Arabia? Well, the client came into the room I was servicing and I treated them like a human being. It was very friendly. They were also very friendly back to me. The property manager came running into the room and apologized to the client as I was talking to them. The client told the property manager to chill out. We were having a pleasant conversation. If looks could kill, the look that property manager shot me when the client wasn't looking was hysterical. They were upset with me.

Robin Leach (38:19.242)
Ha ha ha ha!

John Doe (38:23.278)
just for trying to be a human being and talk to the client. At the end of the service, she took me a Benjamin Franklin and thanked me for my service. I'll admit I had my reservations about this famous person, but after meeting them, the most successful and most famous family member from Keeping Up with the Smarashians is A-OK in my book, and I'd love to service a home they're staying at again.

Robin Leach (38:26.752)
the hell.

Robin Leach (38:49.12)
Well, damn.

John Doe (38:50.732)
Right? Yeah.

Robin Leach (38:52.49)
Some people, know, looks can be deceiving sometimes, I guess.

John Doe (38:55.522)
Yeah, five bucks says it would be a flea service.

Robin Leach (38:58.71)
Well, I did a video the middle of the week talking about the episode tonight and we got a few responses on the Facebook post. So one person said, I used to service a house that had a pool house that was bigger than my house. The garage was essentially another house and the house had an attached two car garage. The roof of the roof leaked because replacing the tile would require a custom order from Italy.

It was turn of the century mansion with a huge spiral staircase at one end and narrow servant staircase at the other. The master suite had two bathrooms, multiple walk-in closets, and I don't know that I ever saw all the sitting rooms of the suite. The place was nuts. Now, I had done personally done pest control for a former Virginia senator, and I don't know if their family was for money or they were making money.

under the table as the Senator because huge place out near Middleburg, Virginia, which is horse country out here in Virginia. Copper gutters, like handcrafted copper gutters all over the house. And they were having them replaced when I was going there to do the service. Had a big four car garage separate from the house with like a kids apartment above the garage.

And that kid was like doing some serious weed. There were bongs and shit all over that fucking garage apartment. But I mean, the lady of the house, not the senator, but like the housekeeper maid, whatever, servant, whatever, like full-time person. Nicest lady in the world. Used to fix me a little something to eat sometimes if the senator wasn't there. And she was really short. And when she had to replace light bulbs, she'd ask me to do it since I'm freakishly tall. And I replaced light bulbs for her.

John Doe (40:30.254)
BONGS!

John Doe (40:50.968)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (40:54.474)
Hell of a house. That's a lot of fucking money in some beautiful countryside where that house was set for sure.

John Doe (41:01.454)
nice nice where the hell did everybody go? okay there you go I lost y'all for a second

Robin Leach (41:11.722)
We got another one that says, Bill Murray and the guy who wanted me to spray his garage with super cars in it. Not happening.

John Doe (41:18.921)
wow, supercars. I wonder who that could have been.

Robin Leach (41:22.806)
I don't know. And one other person said, I was a furniture removalist before PC and moved to high profile AFL players household goods. The only thing he was worried about was the five large boxes of porn getting damaged.

John Doe (41:40.83)
nice. No kidding. So, like I said, Jack, I got nothing now.

Robin Leach (41:42.816)
Priorities, man, priorities.

Robin Leach (41:51.222)
You have like a box for the anal stuff, a box for like the bukkake, the bukkake box, then like another box for like the girl on girl, you know.

John Doe (41:55.235)
Right.

John Doe (41:58.562)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (42:02.584)
Pukaki boxes and that just like a what you know roll of paper towels and a you know, maybe a squeegee

Robin Leach (42:08.362)
Well, yeah, I would think so. Wet wipes.

John Doe (42:10.894)
I'm not the Lothario here, you are. You tell me, what's in a bukkake?

Robin Leach (42:14.774)
It's wet wipes, wet wipes. Moist, we're gonna go back to the moist again. After that bukkake, I need me a moist towelette.

John Doe (42:16.866)
You wet moist talents. More talents.

John Doe (42:26.104)
more style in okay yeah okay so painless and moist have been covered in today's show okay we could move on but

Robin Leach (42:29.759)
Hahaha

Robin Leach (42:34.304)
But I've done some rich neighborhoods. I grew up right down the road from one more retired football players with like the big, huge gated driveway and all kinds of shit like that. Real gorgeous homes right on the Potomac. The one house I drove by but didn't get a chance to service was G. Gordon Liddy.

John Doe (42:47.278)
Mm-hmm. Right.

John Doe (42:57.034)
man, virile, vigorous and potent.

Robin Leach (43:00.886)
Tee, gart, and livy! I don't own one single firearm, but my wife has hundreds!

John Doe (43:05.678)
One of my favorite one of my favorite jokes that he talked about he's like talking about his male member having a tattoo on it and It goes on he said he said he said in certain states it's just has my initials, you know GGL and When I'm in a state of excitement, it says George Gordon Liddy George

Robin Leach (43:32.502)
Well, I'm an ass.

John Doe (43:33.41)
George Birdlady, Federal Bureau of Investigation, J. Edgar Hoover Director.

Robin Leach (43:39.038)
I can just hear his voice. When I'm in a state of excitement.

John Doe (43:42.574)
He was probably the most interesting character of all in the entire Watergate scandal. I am totally dating myself on this, I know. But I'm sure it had to have been covered in history class somewhere.

Robin Leach (43:45.046)
For all you youngins out there, yeah.

Robin Leach (43:59.914)
They did a mini-series about the Watergate thing.

I would think so. Yeah, they did a mini series recently with G Gordon Liddy and the guy that he broke into the Watergate, the DNC office with. I can't remember the guy's name, but they did a mini series. you haven't, something like that. I'll find you the link to it. I'll send it to you. It's pretty interesting.

John Doe (44:14.818)
Uh-huh.

E Howard Hood or something like that.

John Doe (44:26.83)
Well, please do. Everybody can't hear it, it really interesting. I can't hear over the noise.

Robin Leach (44:28.438)
Well don't, don't everybody talk at once, god damn it.

Robin Leach (44:34.464)
So what are we doing for next week anyways? Just out of curiosity.

John Doe (44:37.038)
next week? Oh, gosh. We haven't decided, but we got a couple of really good ideas. Let's don't say we did. Is one of them. That was actually one that was requested from a listener and a well-worn cheese bag. And so we really appreciate that. That's always a good one.

Robin Leach (44:45.94)
Yeah, that's a good one.

John Doe (45:03.532)
You know, that's one of those episodes where we talk about things that we were instructed to do that we know aren't right, or we see somebody doing something and things like that. That's always a juicy topic and we see that all the freaking time. Another one would be, what was it? Morbid Stories.

Robin Leach (45:18.258)
yeah.

Robin Leach (45:23.22)
Yeah. yeah.

Robin Leach (45:30.464)
Morbid Stories, that is our most downloaded episode of all Tales from the Crawl Space episodes.

John Doe (45:37.132)
I would really like to revisit that one. We do have a lot of other things coming up that we definitely need to do a little bit more homework on. One would be another international episode. We've got a lot of people listening. Let's talk about Sean Muller for a second, Jack. My god, this dude is a freaking, know, Rodney likes to call himself Powerhouse. This dude is an actual Powerhouse.

Robin Leach (45:54.508)
yeah.

Robin Leach (46:02.324)
He's a juggernaut, he is.

John Doe (46:03.774)
He is, mean, you know, in the short time that he's had his podcast, he has already garnered 700,000 downloads over the various, over the various platforms. And it is incredible watching him. He has gone from, you know, he's just gone from basically a chat podcast to one where the government and the UK is actually granting him.

Robin Leach (46:11.254)
Whoooo!

John Doe (46:30.37)
credit hours, you know, they call them something over there, but you know, that's like the CEUs or you have credit hours that we would get going to these, you know, stale donut meetings and, you know, just listening to his podcast, you can get, you know, they, you know, the Brits can get, could get some credit hours. And I think that is, that is freaking incredible. Jack and I were guests on his, on his podcast, you know, about a month or so ago and, we'd love to have him on, you know, he's one of those guys where, you know,

Robin Leach (46:34.048)
It's like CEUs, yeah.

Robin Leach (46:46.72)
That's awesome.

Robin Leach (46:54.069)
Mm-hmm.

yeah.

John Doe (46:59.01)
I don't think having him on an international episode would do justice. I think we need to have him as a guest. He's shown us a lot of love and vice versa. I think an evening with Sean Muller might be in the works. And there's just an awful lot of maybe a Pestrogen update, have the ladies on and talk to them a little bit about see how things are going over at Pestrogen.

Robin Leach (47:05.32)
I agree, agree, we should.

Robin Leach (47:24.983)
yeah!

Hell yeah.

John Doe (47:28.706)
Yeah, there's all kinds of different things. So what I'd like to do is tomorrow I'm gonna post what would you guys like for a topic. It's gonna be a one day only discussion because then we have to get ready for it. So I'll open it up after the show, say hey, what would y'all like to hear us talk about? And then the one with the most popular one, we'll go with. Sound like a plan, Jack?

Robin Leach (47:40.352)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (47:58.464)
Sounds great. I like it. I like it quite a bit.

John Doe (47:59.406)
Alright, okay, very good. Yeah, so speaking of those other podcasts, let's, let's, you know, I want to talk about a little bit about, you know, I've already talked about, we already talked about, we didn't call, we didn't tell the name of the podcast, Pest Perspectives, Pest Perspectives, exactly. You know, Sean's podcast over there, very good one. Beauties and Beasties over there across the pond is another one. Those guys are crazy.

Robin Leach (48:10.998)
Pest perspectives. That's right.

Robin Leach (48:21.632)
Yeah, we're gonna be on this show coming up here in about a month, right?

John Doe (48:25.516)
Yeah, exactly, yeah we are. don't exactly know the date we're supposed to be recording, but yeah, we're coming up and we're gonna be a visitor on them. We're also gonna be a visitor with the ladies on Pestrogen too, and I'm really excited about that. This is Jack and I's first appearance on Pestrogen podcast and we are really stoked about it. yeah, Candice and Jenny over there are just really shaking it up. This Monday's episode that's gonna be showing up in Pestrogen is gonna be a really good one.

Robin Leach (48:36.042)
Yeah, sometime in May.

Robin Leach (48:44.276)
I'm looking forward to that big time.

Robin Leach (48:55.306)
mic drop it that that's not my is. this is the word. So last week, that's the worst day ever. That's right. That's right.

John Doe (48:56.95)
No, drop was before. Worst day ever is coming up on Pestrogen and that's gonna be a really interesting one. I know they're gonna have a really good stories and they have a really good guest. Someone that's been through the ringer about a few things. It's gonna be a great show and so we definitely wanna recommend that. So, Candace, so did that. So, yeah.

Robin Leach (49:17.216)
it is. I submitted a story for that one. did.

John Doe (49:25.13)
That's gonna be two stories in a row for me.

Robin Leach (49:30.026)
Hell yeah, no, it's a great show. That's my morning coffee show is what it is.

John Doe (49:35.022)
It's my too, my Monday morning coffee man. get up in the morning and then, you know, after I take the dog out for him to take his massive shit and then I pour me a cup of coffee and listen to Ginny and Candice over at Pestajay. And then I take a massive shit, exactly. I'm not gonna take my phone in there and listen to their podcast while I'm doing that because I'm a gentleman.

Robin Leach (49:47.37)
And then you take a massive shit after your coffee.

Robin Leach (49:58.176)
Sound like they can hear you.

John Doe (50:00.334)
I don't know man some of those you ever since I had my gallbladder taken out man every it's a It's a it's a roll of the dice and a spin of the wheel every time I go

Robin Leach (50:01.471)
I'm

the hot sloppy ploppies.

John Doe (50:13.579)
What's it gonna be this morning?

Robin Leach (50:15.478)
mm-hmm it's gonna be the hot water the chocolate oatmeal or you know

John Doe (50:19.886)
Is it gonna be soup or stew?

Robin Leach (50:24.012)
So stew.

John Doe (50:29.646)
Oh man, another idea I had for a podcast would be, you know, just kind of a hodgepodge of some of the other ones that we've done that we may not repeat, but you know, just little bits and pieces of the stuff that we talked about, you know, kind of a rehash of some of our previous episodes, because God damn it, we've got a bunch of

Robin Leach (50:40.085)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (50:49.622)
Oh, we're, what, 110 episodes or something like that? Got a whole bunch.

John Doe (50:53.878)
Yeah, something like that. and yeah, so yeah, there's there's a lot of things we're looking forward to doing and So good God, let's see. All right

Robin Leach (51:05.046)
I'm gonna have to, you know, like if there's some reason that we can't do a show, I'm gonna have to sit down, take a few days and put together a couple best of episodes. So need to get people to tell us what they thought their best part of whatever show, their favorite part of the show was, and I can throw them together as a best of, so at least we have something to put on when, something, if God forbid, like I'm going on vacation and you get a case of the creeping cruds or vice versa or whatever, you know?

John Doe (51:19.342)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (51:33.25)
Mm-hmm. Be nice to have something to throw in there for everybody to listen to, that's for sure. But yeah, yeah, and also, get with Jack or myself and message us if you're interested in being on the show. you are an interesting person, you may think you're an interesting person, but we gotta, if we think you're an interesting person, then.

Robin Leach (51:38.357)
Hell yeah!

John Doe (52:00.28)
Then we'd to talk to you. You know, talk about it and see if you want to come on. I'm starting to get the hiccups. That's love.

Robin Leach (52:06.998)
Well, I like the show we did about what people do on their spare time for fun. And I tell you, we've got, I had the chance to watch this video today. friend of the show and a frequent contributor, Scotty Grill is quite the musician. And I'd maybe, you know, see if we can get him to get on the show. Maybe with a couple other people talk about, you know, if there are musicians out there listening to the show, get some people together and talk about.

John Doe (52:11.566)
That was a good one.

John Doe (52:24.568)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (52:36.726)
Stuff like that, what they do in their spare time, things like that. I think it's great. I really enjoyed watching that video that Scotty sent me today. It's the coolest thing. Yeah.

John Doe (52:41.837)
Absolutely.

John Doe (52:45.598)
yeah, no shit, yeah. Also, inebriated termites three. Any reason to be inebriated.

Robin Leach (52:49.91)
yes, we gotta do that.

Robin Leach (52:54.727)
It's going to be some of the same old, same old stories for me, but I'll say them while I'm drunk because you...

John Doe (52:59.712)
You know what, could, yeah, maybe bring a dedicated termite tech on that's interesting. And kind of have them add to our story. So I know y'all are tired of hearing ours. It's like, I'm pretty much.

Robin Leach (53:12.426)
Yeah, I don't drink often on the show, but I will make sure I am fully sauced for that one.

John Doe (53:17.674)
Amen to that. I'll drink to that. Also, you know, I don't have any, I don't have any fucking termite stories this year yet.

Robin Leach (53:26.523)
I know, I know, but you got, what, 30 years worth of termite stories, come on.

John Doe (53:30.926)
I do, I have a treasure trove of, I have veritable sunken chest of stories. But I've already ran through most of them on the show. I know, but nobody wants to hear our show. It's like two old farts, you know? Oh, Scotty's already saying he's in. Oh God, he does sound like a pretty interesting dude. I mean, and he is also,

Robin Leach (53:33.29)
Yes.

Robin Leach (53:42.506)
Well, so have I. I'm a one trick pony, dude.

Robin Leach (53:51.882)
Hell yeah, hell yeah, that'd be great. I'd love to have them on the show.

Robin Leach (53:57.845)
He does.

John Doe (53:59.426)
He's also met another interesting dude with Russell. I mean, that alone makes me wanna talk.

Robin Leach (54:05.558)
And I tell you, for the stories that he's submitted in the past and stuff, do you remember the lady sitting on the bench with Forrest Gump? She goes, it's an amazing story. And you tell it so well. He is a wordsmith on top of the fact that he's quite the musician. So I think it'd be a great show to have him on.

John Doe (54:14.604)
Yes, yes. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah.

John Doe (54:25.829)
Oh yeah. think, I think, I think you sent me something I need to check out on, Scotty and I'm looking really forward. Haven't had the time today to do it. I've been cleaning the house because I'm having the relatives invasion come Easter Sunday. So yeah. So I'm, you know, I'm, trying to get everything cleaned up and you know, just a quick reminder that Easter does fall on four 20 this year. So the ham's not going to be the only thing that's baked at the table.

Robin Leach (54:31.638)
Mm-hmm.

Robin Leach (54:38.806)
Yeah, it's a holiday weekend.

Robin Leach (54:50.646)
You'll really enjoy that dinner.

John Doe (54:54.982)
my God, yeah. And was like that every Thanksgiving, me and one of my cousins would go out for a walk, come back in all bleary eyed and shit and ready to grind down on some turkey and dressing and mashed potatoes. So greens, beans, potatoes, You know, got them. You name it.

Robin Leach (55:02.624)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (55:11.478)
That's my favorite Thanksgiving song. Fucking love that. You're

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

John Doe (55:21.172)
And yeah, so yeah, I've got a lot of exciting things coming up. know, the end of the, yeah, the last part of this episode might not be too fucking exciting, but you know, at least we can talk about some of the exciting things that we can, that we can talk about. yes, smoked eggs. Thank you very much. I still need to try that. I still need to try that. Yeah. I just tried smoked baked potatoes last year and I'm in love.

Robin Leach (55:37.78)
Never had a smoked egg before.

Sounds good.

Was it like smoked hard-boiled eggs?

John Doe (55:47.31)
I would have to say yeah, I would say you boil the eggs and then you smoke them or I don't know how long, if an egg would actually cook all the way through sitting on a smoker, I reckon it would.

Robin Leach (55:57.63)
Or do you bore a hole in it and pack your weed at one end and... You know, they do it with apples, why can't you do it with a hard-boiled egg?

John Doe (56:02.37)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, not only am I really high, but my fart smells sulfury now.

Robin Leach (56:09.686)
But I might try that smoked eggs. I've been looking at smokers. I want to get a smoker for this year. I've been, I've been looking. please do. Pit bulls. I've seen those.

John Doe (56:18.706)
Can I, can I give you a recommendation? Pit Boss. Pit Boss. Yeah. Yeah. It is the, it's the Alien Tobi backpack sprayer of smokers. It's one of the, it's that kind that, know, it's like, you know, like a Flowzone's a trigger, right? You know, people, you can get an Alien Tobi for, you know, for a fraction of the price and you, got, you got basically the same reliability and the same power and the same, you know, getting the shit done with, that has to do with Flowzone, but.

Robin Leach (56:29.718)
Robin Leach (56:38.773)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (56:47.778)
You don't get to, you gotta walk. You don't have to walk around all the time talking about my flow zone. You know, cause every time, every time somebody fucking talk, you get on these smokers, webs, know, smoker groups on Facebook and stuff. I've got my Traeger and the griddles are even worse. I put some eggs on my Blackstone and I'm just like,

Robin Leach (56:51.99)
See you, bud.

Robin Leach (56:58.228)
I got my trigger!

Robin Leach (57:04.342)
I got a charbroil griddle and I fucking love it. was like a quarter of the price and it's a 28 inch griddle and it's charbroil.

John Doe (57:10.669)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (57:14.712)
Whenever I hear somebody talk like that, I always see oiled necks and smell Axe body spray. And now, it's like, chat.

Robin Leach (57:20.5)
Yeah, yeah, their names Chad. got like the the sunglass, the sunglass sunburned sunburned. Yeah.

John Doe (57:27.118)
Sunglass can, yeah, yeah, yeah, the white, the whites around their eyes, the rest of them's all red, like, you know, red Hulk from Take Down Pest Control.

Robin Leach (57:37.078)
Oh, Exotic Tales says, are you guys gonna do un- un- winterize your tanks and uh, going to un-winterize your tanks and termite rigs? I don't know, is someone... Yeah!

John Doe (57:46.306)
That ship has sailed over here, I keep in touch with the guys at my beloved trio and I mean, they're pumping juice right now. Yeah, mean, shit, just last weekend they did a pre-treat. They had two termite jobs going today. Yeah, it's happening. Termite season is upon us and I'm stuck here with my fucking eye and unable to do a goddamn thing, make any fucking money.

Robin Leach (57:56.0)
Pumpin' and dumpin'.

Robin Leach (58:08.726)
Yeah.

Robin Leach (58:16.84)
It's coming, don't worry. It's the rubber band effect. You're going to be busier in a one-handed gun and masturbation contest.

John Doe (58:18.461)
I know what's coming.

John Doe (58:25.523)
Yeah, one-armed wallpaper hacker. Yeah, I'll be busy with the pivot magnet and circle jerk.

Robin Leach (58:28.15)
That's right.

Like a long tail cat in room full of rocking chairs.

John Doe (58:36.76)
Well, here's hoping, god damn it, because I got some income to make up. anyway, life is good. Gotta stay positive. Anyway, so anyway, un-winterize my tanks. Nah, nah, it's done. Yeah, so ask us again earlier next year and we'll tell you.

Robin Leach (58:40.202)
Yeah, it'll happen.

Robin Leach (58:45.814)
We do. We do.

Robin Leach (58:56.918)
But we can talk about it on the inebriated termite episode.

John Doe (59:00.076)
we absolutely can. anyway, if you're interested in being on the show, you've got some good stories to tell. Be on our inebriated termite. You must drink. And so that is a prerequisite. If you don't drink, I don't want to talk to you because this is inebriated termites. I I guess if you don't and you blaze, I guess we can make an exception.

Robin Leach (59:22.496)
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

John Doe (59:23.648)
Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of that, we need to have Mike Sheridan on again. Anyway. Totally.

Robin Leach (59:27.114)
We do. And I still want to that multi-generational pest control. I still want to do that episode two, like the father and son or something like that. The whole family involved. That's right. Yes, mother and daughter. I am not excluding that because there are some badass women in the industry. And I think it's fucking amazing.

John Doe (59:32.43)
Absolutely.

John Doe (59:36.802)
Mm-hmm.

or the mother and daughter.

John Doe (59:46.466)
They're sure the hell are man. So yeah, exactly. So Jack, yeah, we've got a lot. We've got a lot of things to look forward to. I'm to put that, I'm going to put that post on Facebook tomorrow morning. Well, once I wake up and you know, I'm probably gonna take my morning shit early because I'm not gonna have a Pestrogen episode to listen to. And I'll get that on. I'll put it in as a poll. Y'all can vote. I'll put a list of stuff down there. Y'all can vote on them and let us know.

Robin Leach (59:54.379)
We do.

Robin Leach (59:59.254)
Mm-hmm.

John Doe (01:00:15.31)
The most popular one, that's what we'll go with. All right?

Robin Leach (01:00:17.782)
yeah, Scotty goes, swarm season's on, someone's Easter's gonna be ruined. You know that's gonna happen, especially because on the East Coast, we got a warm weekend. So you know that's just gonna happen. Someone's gonna get a house full of swarmers.

John Doe (01:00:25.016)
Shit yeah.

Mm-hmm.

John Doe (01:00:32.746)
Absolutely. Today's the warmest day we're going to have all week. It's going to drop back down to the fifties again. We had a storm front come through. Didn't drop any rain, but it blew the shit out of the wind, but it's getting cold already. So, all right. Well, Jack always been always a slice. So, yeah. So on behalf of pest control, humor depot, our favorite group on behalf of Tony Spangler from spangler art.com on behalf of the pest control podcast and all the other podcasts that we know and love dearly Jack and I.

Robin Leach (01:00:46.538)
Always a pleasure, my friend. Always a pleasure.

John Doe (01:01:02.126)
cordially invite you to bug off.

Robin Leach (01:01:05.719)
Buck off, baby.

John Doe (01:01:07.784)