Just Truckin' Around

Brad (00:00.459)
Good morning. Good evening. Good afternoon. However, whatever the fuck you're listening to this. And I hope everybody's just trucking along out there. I am of course, your host, Brad Harvey for welcome once again, to Tales from the Crawl Space podcast and with me across the miles and across the smiles is the one and only Jack Starry. Jack, how you doing buddy?

Jack Starry (00:21.068)
Hey there, hi there, ho there, how are you sir? Good!

Brad (00:22.785)
You're as welcome as can be. Me, I'm doing fine. I'm doing fine. I am getting ready to get back to work. And finally, today is my last day of being on medical leave for my myriad of problems ranging from my knee to my gallbladder. And it's been, I am so ready to get back to work. It's crazy. mean, that's right. Being a sedentary.

Jack Starry (00:48.012)
It is your last day of beating Sedentary.

Brad (00:52.273)
sedentary fairy. yeah, am. Yep. So starting Monday, I'm going to be back and I'm going to get get right get hit the ground running with a very lovely termite pretreatment. And so I'm real excited about it. And I don't think anybody is more excited than my my my beautiful bride Ellen, who is sick of me hanging around the house. It was like shoving me out of the way when she needs something and everything. It's like I feel like my only duty is to stand in front of the cabinet that she needs something else.

Jack Starry (01:05.922)
Good.

Jack Starry (01:13.102)
Get you out of the fucking house.

Jack Starry (01:22.382)
That's how it works. That's how it works. That woman is a saint putting up with you for that one.

Brad (01:23.596)
Yeah, it is. She is. Yeah, you look under the dictionary and her long suffering. There's a picture her staring at me wanting me to move out of the way.

Jack Starry (01:37.324)
No, the, is it, if you look at the dictionary under long painless, then there's no month. Bust my face. I got that shit in the first two minutes too. Hey, that.

Brad (01:46.763)
Yeah, you did. It did take you long at all tonight. You're chomping at the bit. yeah, Jack and I were on the Pest Perspectives podcast, which is also airing tonight on Pest Control, Humor Depot, my favorite group, and on YouTube and on LinkedIn and every other place that they have podcasts, kind of like us, only they're British and we're not. But no.

Jack Starry (01:51.628)
Just had to whip out the paint us.

Brad (02:12.353)
Sean is awesome. It was a great, a great, Jack and I had a great time on the show and just talking, just talking stuff, you know, and, know, cause it's, if, if, if Jack and I have a favorite subject that we'd love to talk about, it is ourselves. You know, Tyler, what's going on my man? I got, I shit, I gotta bring my chat, my chat box up. I know I'm just like, good Lord.

Jack Starry (02:22.144)
yeah.

Jack Starry (02:29.206)
Yeah, that's that that's true. Hey look, Tyler made it to the chat. How you doing, Tyler?

Jack Starry (02:38.082)
Yeah, what the hell, man? You're slippin'!

Brad (02:42.177)
There he is, Tyler. I made it! You sure the hell did. All right, yeah. Yeah, once again, here we are live. You guys can come out, get on YouTube and look for us. Look for our channel, Tales from the Crosbyce 2.0 and join the chat. And we're here. Let's talk.

Jack Starry (03:00.962)
Damn right, damn right. And what we're talking about this evening is just trucking around your service vehicles, whether it was a piece of shit, the best fucking truck you had, problems you had on the road when they handed you a shit box to drive around in. You name it, we got all kinds of stories about them and some of them are really fucking good. And we have a lengthy, you can suck it for the end of the evening as well.

Brad (03:19.937)
Yeah, we got some awesome ones.

yeah, but for this week we're calling it You Can Truck It. You can truck it. That's so great. looks like, I'm sorry to hear that, man. You would have loved listening to Dr. Nina Nina.

Jack Starry (03:28.812)
You can truck it!

Jack Starry (03:40.866)
No, no, Nina.

Brad (03:41.633)
Nina Niner Jenkins.

Jack Starry (03:44.723)
shit, yeah, she's an awesome lady. I'm sorry you missed her.

Brad (03:48.167)
Uh-huh, love to have her on again, that's for sure. And she's down to clown too. I got to finally meet her in person at the Purdue Conference this year and she's a genuine article, I'm telling you, she's great. So, yeah, so, she gave, the presentation that she's giving about apprehending the biological bedbug treatments is one that you gotta check out, you know, sometime. It's very informative.

Jack Starry (04:00.482)
Yeah, she's a sweetheart. She really is.

Brad (04:15.073)
Very eye-opening and it's just you know for anyone that hasn't used it or hasn't heard of apprehend Definitely take a look at it. It's apprehend a p r e h e n d only one p in that Dot-com check it out. I mean it's seriously it's change. It's a game changer

Jack Starry (04:32.526)
Brought to you by Nina Niner.

Brad (04:34.177)
Nina Nida, that's right, Dr. Nina Nida Jenkins of Condidio Tech. anyway, let's talk some trucks. Got a couple of really good stories and I'm gonna go ahead and start it off. Jonathan Horn brought us a great story. He goes, we had a guy fired for jerking the gurkin in his truck during a company Zoom meeting, during a company Zoom meeting within 200 feet of a customer's house.

Jack Starry (04:56.994)
Ha!

Brad (05:03.809)
Holy shit. Wow. That's that's got to be some desperate need right there to And then he goes me and another tech got sent to pick up the truck It stayed at his house. So he had to clean it lol. It was completely full of cigarettes and blunt roaches We have cameras in the trucks, too. He just didn't give us

Jack Starry (05:04.054)
Jack Starry (05:27.256)
God.

Brad (05:28.385)
Man, jerkin' the gherkin', jerkin' the gherkin', I love that term. It's like polishing the bishop. It's like spanking the bad puppy. But oh my God, you know what? There are some seriously horrible trucks out there and it's not bad enough. You got cigarettes, you got soda pop cans and bottles, you got half-eaten sandwiches, you got, what, spooge now?

Jack Starry (05:33.388)
He's jerking with jerks, jerking, jerking with Jergens. Waxing the dolphin.

Jack Starry (05:56.514)
Yeah, this is-

Brad (05:56.565)
Now, we have to deal with Spooge in the trucks now? What the fuck?

Jack Starry (05:59.522)
That's one thing I never considered in my truck would be load in my truck. No.

Brad (06:02.853)
load. It's just some dry concentrate that happened to get in the cab of the truck. I was trying to open that goddamn seal on the fucking, that fucking fast cap.

Jack Starry (06:12.162)
Hehehe!

Jack Starry (06:20.45)
Yeah, that's what it was. That's exactly what it was, wasn't

Brad (06:21.557)
That's like, no, you're having seances in your truck. It's ectoplasm.

Jack Starry (06:26.734)
It's testicle plasm. Pestoplasm.

Brad (06:30.081)
but my god, yeah, I've I Being a being a man being in management. I had to deal with a lot of people's trucks that you know, we're just so fucking unsavory, know, and and here's the killer though it's like you would do your regular inspection and And you'd be like, okay, this looks good. This looks good. This looks good two weeks later You're they're either giving their notice or they're firing them a stuff you go back in. It's like a freaking disaster area

Jack Starry (06:42.394)
yeah.

Jack Starry (06:57.806)
It's like a Roland dumpster.

Brad (06:58.803)
Yeah, it's like how did you get how did you get you know three quarters of an inch of gunk on on your seats in a month's time? I don't get it. Yeah, but That's a lot on a whole lot of load Yeah, you need cooling baby a whole lot of load

Jack Starry (07:07.704)
That's a lot of load. That's a whole lot of load.

That guy was cranking it out. Baby, I'm not fooling. I liked what we were singing Roxanne yesterday.

Brad (07:24.801)
Oh, that was great. Yeah, Sean was having technical difficulties during the podcast, Pest Perspectives. So we had a little bit of downtime and Jack and I decided to break into Roxanne for the police. it was a majestic moment, I'm telling you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you guys wouldn't have been able to hear it. Hello, Mario, welcome to the show. Yeah, man, doesn't he have a story?

Jack Starry (07:42.542)
it was wonderful.

Jack Starry (07:47.598)
Mario! Our buddy Mario, that's awesome. Oh yes he most certainly does. Mario, since you were here. All right, Mr. Mario, here you go. He goes, what's up Jack? Here's my truck story. Here in Brazil, we don't have the habit of using big trucks like you do up there. When I started in pest control back in 2001 in Rio de Janeiro, my work vehicle was a 1994 Volkswagen

Brad (07:54.593)
Let's stroke his ego by telling it now.

Jack Starry (08:15.646)
I hope I'm saying this right, Saviero, a pickup version of a car that you and the US and Canada knew in the late 80s as the Volkswagen Fox Sedan. The car still had a carburetor, no power steering, manual windows, manual transmission, no ABS and no air conditioning. Imagine that in a city with constantly congested traffic and summer temperatures that easily reach 100 degrees Fahrenheit. I always had to carry a towel

and clean spare shirt because it got so hot that sweat would literally drip down my elbows while driving. Every time the car needed parts, was a problem because carbureted cars were already becoming uncommon. Once I even had to buy a part for the carburetor from a junkyard in another state. But those were the good times. I was just starting out working with amazing people who were still my friends to this day. That's awesome.

Brad (09:08.277)
No, that's touching. That's touching. I love it. Well, good. Thanks again for the story, Mario. There's nothing, we always love hearing you. And by golly, don't forget that international episode will be coming up soon. hopefully you can be another part of it, man. You are my brother and I can't wait to talk to you again. Yeah.

Jack Starry (09:21.196)
Yep, so mark your calendar.

Jack Starry (09:27.232)
always a good time with Mario

Brad (09:30.795)
But sometimes you get a truck and you get it, it's in great shape and everything. And then over the period of time, it just starts breaking down on you. And it's always those little things. It's the stuff that doesn't create a driving hazard or anything like that. It's the stuff that just annoys the shit out of. Back when I first started, back in the Stone Age, crank windows and hodgin'.

Jack Starry (10:00.269)
Hi Jenny.

Brad (10:01.377)
and stuff like that, the handle would fall off, right? So you'd have to keep track of the damn thing so you could find it just to roll the window down, up or down, and then all of a sudden it would be lost. You go on vacation, somebody'd use your truck, you come back, fucking you can't find the crank anywhere, and you're just fuming, you just wanna take a fucking fist and just open the damn window that way. The radio doesn't work anymore, only one of the speakers work.

Jack Starry (10:09.538)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (10:25.897)
Management ain't gonna spend the money on that stuff getting that shit fixed. It's but it's the stuff that brings comfort to your day, but Zero fucks are given from management to get that shit addressed When I was working at economics Labrador retriever I had I had a specialist who had a service vehicle that had one speaker out and he was he was a guy that was totally into music and He drove me bat shit about that speaker jack

Jack Starry (10:28.364)
No. No.

Brad (10:56.405)
to the point where I fucking fixed it myself. You know, it's like, I'm popping that damn panel off and I'm like, I was like, shot. His name was, his name was JT by the way.

Jack Starry (11:08.942)
I gotta tell you, the absolute worst thing is when you have to give your truck up for a while and switch trucks temporarily because once you've got everything exactly the way you like it, you know, it's your truck, you're comfortable in it, you got all your shit set up and no, you gotta switch out and I fucking hate that, especially if someone else is driving my truck for whatever reason, couldn't fucking stand it. Get the fuck out of my truck. It's my truck.

Brad (11:25.387)
Yeah.

Brad (11:32.715)
Mm-hmm.

Jack Starry (11:38.22)
I have it the way I like it. But then you get things breaking down like, you know, a bad speaker, like a blown speaker and it's rattling and that just drives you crazy. get a door panel that's banging around. But I had I had the perfect truck when I started out with Schmerlich. I had a Chevy 3100 heavy duty with the Redding box on the back. The big, tall Redding box on the back had two 100 gallon tanks on it.

Brad (11:44.415)
yeah.

Brad (12:00.321)
yeah!

Jack Starry (12:05.846)
sat side by side, big long rectangle thing, two 100 gallon tanks. had the Honda 5.5 horsepower. And if you do termite work, you know, that's the, that's the, that's the shit right there. You're on a 5.5.

Brad (12:17.461)
I got what we got, yeah, and I love it. It's the GM3800.

Jack Starry (12:23.15)
it's their bad ass. And, and it, and I had a electric motor as well with only two levers. I'd need to pull. If I ran out of gas or the engine crapped out, which it never did. But if it did, I could just pull two levers and plug in and finish the termite job with this electric motor. And they had the high pro pumps on each one. So you're the roller pumps. I can love that thing. That was the best truck. it was a stick.

Brad (12:48.874)
heck yeah. Yeah.

Jack Starry (12:51.098)
And what you kind of needed when you're driving with that much liquid in the back of the truck, you got you kind of you need to downshift. You can't just rely on your brakes because it'll carry you right through the intersection.

Brad (12:55.434)
Uh-huh.

Brad (12:59.891)
Right, yeah, you gotta get the transmission involved in that stoppage, for sure. Otherwise, yeah, you're gonna be rolling. My favorite truck, pardon my coughing, I don't know what the fuck's going on tonight, but my favorite truck was actually, believe it or not, when I was at the Scarlet Letter. It was a 2000,

Jack Starry (13:05.59)
Yeah!

Brad (13:28.833)
2011 something like that Chevy Colorado now this was before they completely ruined the Colorado body by making it trying to make it into a fucking car right yeah I had the drop-down console it had really decent seats it was smaller it was boxy it was a boxy type you know type of thing but that sucker sat low to the ground and you could you could freakin haul some ass in that thing and

Jack Starry (13:31.022)
Mm-hmm.

Jack Starry (13:41.9)
Right.

Jack Starry (13:51.335)
yeah.

Brad (13:58.433)
It was beautiful. If you're just running basic pest control services, not termite out of it or anything like that, because you can't because it's a Colorado. It was the best truck I ever had. And I drove the shit out of that. And I fought to keep it when they said they wanted to get rid of it. I fought so hard. I even offered to buy it. I mean, it had 160,000 miles on it. It was...

Jack Starry (14:19.617)
Brad (14:25.971)
And dude, it was, it was run down, it was dirty, the body was in great shape. Decals were faded, but who gives a fuck? It even had my, no, no, it had the orange spot right on the other seat, where the headrest is at, where you're eating Cheetos on your route and you put your hand there. And over a period of time, the cheese builds up on the, it does, it stains and it gets real slick.

Jack Starry (14:35.682)
You're describing me, run down, dirty body in great shape.

Jack Starry (14:50.838)
It stains.

Brad (14:54.465)
And then when it's humid out, it gets sticky. And you're just like, oh man, it's like, you want to just take a razor blade and scrape it off and you're craving some cheese. But yeah, it was, I mean, it was that truck. was, you know, the cushions were perfectly shaped in my ass because it had been in it for so many years. I love that truck, Jack.

Jack Starry (15:02.85)
Heheheheh! Yaaah!

Jack Starry (15:19.522)
my, had a favorite bar that I used to go sit in this one booth. It was perfectly shaped in my ass. So I can, I can totally relate to that. Scotty, Scotty says TGI have cheese bags. And just because he's here, I got Scotty story here for, for the show. So we are serving it up, for, for our guests on the, in the chat. back in the 1980s, our company was going through a growth spurt. Speaking of load.

Brad (15:24.118)
Naw.

Brad (15:35.733)
Good.

Brad (15:46.729)
It's burnt.

Jack Starry (15:48.44)
We were desperate for employees, so perhaps we should have taken more time to vet new hires, but we didn't. We ended up hiring an experienced guy, or friend of a friend kind of thing. I was doing my ride along for the first week checking him out. Red flags are waving left and right. The biggest one being when one day he told me that he had back pain problem and that he needed a stop to get his medicine. Red flag. So we pull into a methadone clinic. Major red flag.

Brad (16:13.953)
You

Jack Starry (16:17.01)
At the end of the day, shared this story with my father. Now, I was in my early 20s, so I knew what was what. Mr. Father, on the other hand, didn't quite get the gravity of the situation and wrote it off after a heated conversation. So, the next week rolls around and the new guide tells us that his car was broken down and asked if he could take the service truck home. The old man, clearly colorblind, didn't see the red flag waving either and gave him permission.

Fast forward to the next Saturday morning. The old man gets a phone call. He was told that the night before there was a big brawl at some dive bar and one of our trucks was seen leaving the scene in a hurry. Driven by the guy who started the fight. Well, the old man finally sees the light and calls me to go with him to retrieve our truck. I didn't tell him. I told you so. I didn't have to. So we got to this guy's house and there sits our truck, right front fender wearing a fresh new dent.

Brad (17:00.897)
Ahem.

Brad (17:08.043)
Right.

Hmm

Jack Starry (17:15.544)
We knock on the guy's door. No answer, naturally. I had brought the spare set of keys and we went to get into the service truck. Much to my surprise, for whatever reason that to this day I wish I knew why, the fire extinguisher that was kept behind the seat was completely discharged inside the cab of the truck. White powder everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I called my father over to take a look. He was shocked and then asked me, is that cocaine?

Brad (17:35.916)
fuck.

Brad (17:41.697)
Ahem.

Hahaha

Jack Starry (17:46.818)
Dumbfounded, I looked at him. Well, if it is, I'm tricking the next week off. It was the 1980s after all. That's awesome, Scotty. Fucking awesome.

Brad (17:51.925)
Hahaha!

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, the heady eighties. That is man. Thanks a lot. That's great and I remember when I remember my very first truck. It was a 1980 something late 80s Dodge Dakota. Yeah, and this dude it had no radio. It had no air conditioning. It had no power brakes, no power steering. It was basic as fuck, but I didn't mind that truck at all. Matter of fact, I, you know,

Jack Starry (18:01.538)
Heheheheh!

Jack Starry (18:10.606)
Mm.

Brad (18:25.185)
you know flash forward many many years I had a chance to buy a 1994 Dakota and I just jumped up on it for my home ride and I love that truck it's great it's it's the last of the shit kickers you know it's the old box style it's smaller and that a little little truck like it like it like a Dakota and that was back when the Dakotas were about the same size as the old Colorado's and stuff but this dude still had has my mine has the 318 V8 engine in it and

Jack Starry (18:39.16)
Right?

Brad (18:52.513)
They think it's squirrely. It gets squirrely as fuck and I just enjoy writing it, you know. And I'm not a big country dude, but damn it, I feel redneck as fuck when I drive that and all I'm thinking about is having my best girl over on my side, over to the side, feet on the dash, and just rolling down listening to shit kicker music.

Jack Starry (18:52.542)
yeah.

Jack Starry (19:10.882)
Well, I'll tell you, know, whoever decided to take bench seats out of pickup trucks, didn't have a girlfriend.

Brad (19:17.697)
No, I don't think so. I think they were designed by priests or something. Or the Amish, you know the Amish bed where they got the board in between. oh. Hey, hey, Mr. Badass himself.

Jack Starry (19:23.116)
Yeah, well

Jack Starry (19:28.312)
power out Rodney's here Rodney showed up

Jack Starry (19:36.494)
If it was designed by a priest, would have a candy bar holder and a booster seat for the the ultra boy.

Brad (19:39.761)
Fuck God Jack you had to go there. I said damn it. It was my turn. It was my turn to go there But no, yeah, yeah, I mean I mean when you got a pickup truck you want you want your girl scooting up It's kind of silent sign over sidling up to you. That's right. Hold her Hope, you know, keep her beer keeping your beer warm between her legs while you're driving

Jack Starry (19:46.638)
Hehehehehe

Jack Starry (19:56.28)
sliding over next to you.

Jack Starry (20:05.464)
Well, it makes road head so much easier. She could just lay over and put her head in your lap. I mean, because the console, know, mean, women have to like get on their hands and knees and like go over top of the console to get there.

Brad (20:09.419)
Yeah, I could totally see that. Yeah.

Brad (20:20.065)
Best you could hope for on the console is just like, you know, a kiss. Really? mean... Yeah. Yep. Alrighty's up there. Fun old Dodge trucks with the headlight diverted by the clutch. Yep. that's old, old. Yeah. Yeah, that little metal button in there you just push with your foot. Yeah. Yeah, those were cool.

Jack Starry (20:26.199)
Just smooch it on the top.

Jack Starry (20:34.535)
yeah, the little push button dimmers. Yeah.

Jack Starry (20:43.534)
Jenny, Jenny, came, came in with a last minute truck story here. She goes with my previous Donnie Marie company. had to change vehicles so many times for repairs for this, for that. Every single time they gave me a vehicle, was filthy floorboard Friday times 100. I think, I think two years I had to clean out like nine vehicles for myself. And then when I got a team leader title, then they had me clean out.

Brad (20:49.254)
yeah?

Jack Starry (21:11.5)
all my new hire's trucks before they got them. I was the truck cleaning bitch. Should have told them to go soak. God, I would hate that. to clean everybody's fucking nasty ass truck. Disgusting.

Brad (21:16.683)
Yeah.

Brad (21:22.913)
Yeah, that seems to be, they had a title for that wherever I worked. It was service manager. Because every time I was a fucking service manager, I was the one that had to do it. And I need you to get, let's get the truck ready for the new guy. And you get the truck ready for the new guy, new guy gets in he's in there two weeks and it's just as bad as it was.

Jack Starry (21:31.461)
yeah

Jack Starry (21:43.642)
With big green tea I'll be like, here's your truck. Make sure you clean it out before you get it set up. Have fun.

Brad (21:47.809)
Yeah, I mean, let's face it, we are all aware that the truck is the mobile office of the technician. And things are gonna get, you're gonna get things dirty, you're gonna get, but fuck's sake, at least once every six weeks, clean it, you know? And so, my God. And it always seems to fall on the service manager to do it. And usually,

Jack Starry (21:55.852)
It is.

Jack Starry (22:06.508)
Yeah. Yeah.

Brad (22:14.409)
You you could, if you're lucky, could get somebody with a decent, yeah, I'll get that cleaned out before I leave. You know, give their notice and everything. And they actually do a pretty fair job of it. I think that happened once in the 34 years I've been in the business. But yeah, the...

Jack Starry (22:32.93)
I'd always worry they were going to dock my check if I didn't. So I always worried about them cut into my check if didn't do it.

Brad (22:39.155)
Yeah, we never did that.

Fuck it. Why would they have to bother with it? Because they had me to clean them.

Jack Starry (22:46.286)
I was working for this one company that didn't have trucks. had Prius, Toyota Prius. And first of all, get my ass and I look like a look like a monkey fucking a football. You're shoving 10 pounds of shit in a five pound bag. But it broke so many laws because you're supposed to have your chemical completely in a separate compartment than the passenger compartment.

Brad (23:02.207)
Yeah

Brad (23:13.164)
huh,

Jack Starry (23:15.426)
But no, they had me just throw at the back of a Prius. So, but I was working in like Arlington, Virginia, which is right outside DC, older neighborhoods, skinny roads, little tight spaces and everything. So that was cool. And only have to fill it up like once a week. That was cool too. so getting around town was awesome, but yeah, I always worried about if I, if I got in a rear end accident, I'd, I'd have both my legs broken at the kneecaps cause

Brad (23:25.601)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (23:29.249)
Ahem.

Jack Starry (23:43.958)
I just had to Crisco myself to get myself in it.

Brad (23:48.587)
Yeah.

fucking pre-its. Damn.

Jack Starry (23:54.638)
But hey, when you start running, when you start running out of running out of gas and it has that dynamic braking. So as you hit the brakes, it helps charge the battery. So like I'd be on the way home, going up the mountain and coming down the other side, I'd just kind of like lightly sit on the brakes, going down the mountain and just watch the battery thing. I'm charging us like get that fucker home. We're going to manage one way the other.

Brad (24:02.657)
battery. Yeah.

Brad (24:14.302)
Uh-huh.

Brad (24:19.061)
Yeah.

Jack Starry (24:24.174)
Big green tea, their trucks, they, what do they call them things? The ant eaters? What were they? The aardvarks. Okay. I don't know why I I can't get that name right. keep seeing, but those things were, mean, that little calculation thing for the tomato side of the back is that seemed to be, seemed to more trouble than it's worth.

Brad (24:32.521)
Aardvarks. Aardvarks, yep.

Brad (24:37.735)
Ant eaters.

Brad (24:43.549)
Uh-huh. Was it called the pendulum or something like that? Or? it was. Yeah. They ended up, they ended up, they ended up pulling all those things out and retrofitting them. So they just ran it. They just ran mixture. Yeah. Okay. Now is it's we, we, we had to figure it out, how to do it ourselves, on a couple of units there and yeah, it wasn't fun. And, it was probably, yeah, I would probably say it was the most ridiculous set up and over-injured shit I ever saw.

Jack Starry (24:57.622)
Good.

Brad (25:13.505)
especially with the advent of, you know, with Termidor and everything. And they built these specifically to deliver Termidor. And it was, but it was just so fucked up. I mean, you can do, I mean, now with the Termidor HE, you can do, you you can do twice the work half the time or half the volume, you know, and it's a beautiful thing now.

Jack Starry (25:13.772)
Yeah, yeah.

Jack Starry (25:38.658)
Yeah, yeah.

Brad (25:43.137)
I can fill up a, I can do a good sized ranch house and not even use a full hundred gallons. And yeah, it's great. I mean, it's just not needed. which is great because where I'm working now at Trio, we've got some pretty old equipment. We've got an old termite rig. as a matter of fact, the pump finally went out on one of them.

And so I needed to replace it. And that was when William the Merciful was dealing with his leg issue. So I'm calling Old Ham Chemical because that's where the red came from. And the fella on the phone said, yeah, you got the number off the unit. And I rattle off, he's looking around and he goes, whoo. It's like, that's a old one. And it was like, what was it, like 2011 or something like that.

Jack Starry (26:11.992)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (26:36.352)
So shit it was was it was it was a pretty is a pretty old old unit But but dude, I'm telling you it held that nice, know I mean, I think that was that was the first time that was the first time that that roller pump is a high pro that never needed replaced Yeah, found it was leaking right out of the shaft and And so they've got that little weep hole right there where that were you the end of the you know the housing

Jack Starry (26:43.628)
Yeah, well the older one usually did.

Jack Starry (26:55.822)
Hmm.

Brad (27:02.593)
So I just found the nearest twig and crammed it up there to keep it from leaking, right? I got the job done and went back and told Bill about it. And so then we put it on mothballs until we could get it fixed. it took a little while because I ordered the pump. Not thinking, you know, I was like, okay, it's just the pump we need. So I didn't take the housing off of the, you know, where the couplers is and stuff. Only found out that that rubber piece that's in the middle was completely gone. This thing had been.

Jack Starry (27:03.123)
yeah.

Right, right.

Jack Starry (27:25.421)
Right.

Jack Starry (27:29.848)
The little spider gear.

Brad (27:30.753)
Oh yeah, that thing, that coupler had just ate itself to death. And metal on metal, that's right. It's like when your knee, you lose all the gristle in your knee and your bone on bone. Yeah, I know that too well. so that's where it's just the same thing. So I had to sit and wait for that to come in. And so, but I finally ended up getting to the point where it's like, damn it, I grabbed the truck, I brought it to my house, packed it into my garage.

Jack Starry (27:35.928)
So you're a metal on metal.

Jack Starry (27:41.646)
Now I know that. Yep.

Brad (28:00.019)
and took care of it there. know, one thing I could get it done in complete seclusion and, you know, just, you know, by myself get it done. And I got to drink beer while I was doing it. It's win-win. So, you know, I had that thing, I had that thing up and running in no time. It was beautiful. so, and that's not even my favorite rig. My favorite rig was the one that's on the other truck. And because that dude starts for me every damn time I want it to start. And with the exception of

Jack Starry (28:05.346)
Right.

Brad (28:29.153)
You know, I went back for a little while to visit people, to visit the office and sure as shit, whoever's driving the truck was having trouble starting it. was like, man, it's because I wasn't in there. He eventually got it started. What's up, Sean?

Jack Starry (28:40.59)
Sean showed up. Hey, Sean.

Um, I got to, uh, the, the, the termite rig that I hated worse than the ones they had big green tea was when I worked for, I'll call them Eastern, uh, pest control, which is, uh, uh, a subsidiary of Schmollens. Um, they had the injection rig where you didn't have a tank and you got the big, huge gigantic, like the, like the two and a half gallon.

Brad (29:01.781)
Yeah.

Jack Starry (29:18.542)
and you hooked it up with this little siphon hose in it. And then you rolled a hose out and hooked it up to the water source on site. And it mixed it in line as the water was coming through. And you had to adjust these dials to get the proper mix ratio. And that was the termite rig, was this injection thing. I guess that's what you call it.

And the fucking get clogged up. was a contrived piece of bullshit.

Brad (29:48.084)
What?

Brad (29:52.289)
I don't care. I'm just thinking what could possibly go wrong with this, you know? It just seems so strange. I just feel like you could have chemical backing up into somebody's water hose for whatever reason. I don't know. That just seems a little sketchy to me.

Jack Starry (30:11.0)
Well, you had to get, you had to get one of those, the end of the, the end of the hose that went connected to their hose thing. had the one way valve on it, the little anti-backflow. So I had the anti-backflow on there. but the, I got the truck, no one had taken care of the damn thing or cleaned it. the, so the line, the siphon line had a bunch of crud inside of it. Cause you know, if you let that terminal sit, it'll sit, get all thick on you.

Brad (30:21.728)
huh.

Brad (30:35.329)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (30:39.867)
yeah.

Jack Starry (30:40.78)
So I didn't have near enough going up the tube that it was supposed to. So I was getting not the right amount for applying termiteicide. it was, I fucking hated that thing, man. I was like, just give me a goddamn rig. Give me a hundred gallon tank. Let me go out and do a real termite job. This thing's a piece of shit. And it was right at the back of the van. open the two back doors. It was right there. And I had more down time than I did.

Brad (30:58.591)
Yeah.

Brad (31:03.569)
huh.

Jack Starry (31:08.438)
applying Traumaticide, having to fix that thing and fuck with it and hated it. Hated it.

Brad (31:10.795)
Yeah, Jesus. Man. So, excuse me. So Jack, you gonna ask me what I'm drinking tonight?

Jack Starry (31:22.306)
Yes, sir.

What are you drinking tonight?

Brad (31:27.041)
Glad you asked. Had a visitor today. Mod Squad member and the book of the Mod Squad, the one and only Dan Byrd stopped in for a visit to me today and brought me something really interesting. This is called Red Breast Single Pot Still Irish Whiskey. And this one in particular is made, it's the Missouri Oak Edition.

Jack Starry (31:31.958)
huh.

Jack Starry (31:40.344)
Nice.

Woo!

Jack Starry (31:48.206)
Brad (31:53.249)
And it's finished in casts of American oaks sourced from the Ozark forests of Missouri. And I'm telling you, this is really good stuff. I mean, it's got a lot of good notes of things like nutmeg and cinnamon and rich berry fruits and vanilla cream. And so yeah, I'm, the cream, Hercules, Hercules. But yeah, Dan, man, I appreciate this. This is awesome stuff.

Jack Starry (32:11.874)
BEAR IS A CREEP! BEAR IS A CREEP! BEAR IS A CREEP!

Brad (32:20.993)
And I'm drinking it to your health today. And of course, I'm washing it down with a little bit of water. And also a little something in my one and only Tony Spangler Tumbler. Jack, I know you don't have one with you. You're on location in PA, in Pizzetucki. so I'll do it. Let me do the display. And you can do the voice.

Jack Starry (32:21.222)
nice!

Jack Starry (32:46.606)
You

Ladies and gentlemen, take a look at this beautiful Tony Spangler Tumbler with Paula Benedict right on the side there. Those beautiful colors, those crisp graphics. And at the bottom, you get to rubber bottom. Look at that double wall steel keeps the hot things hot and the cold things cold with a beautiful cap to keep things from spilling going down the road fits in every single cup holder possible.

So wonderful. And they also come with a stainless steel surgical quality urethral sounding rod.

Brad (33:27.233)
That's right, Jack, look at that baby right there. Look how sleek and aerodynamic it is. See how the light shimmers off of it. Shimmers like the Nile. And the edges of it are so sharp that no scar tissue can resist being cut away with one of these.

Jack Starry (33:45.686)
And it's also bent on the other side for Peyronie's disease.

Brad (33:48.481)
Yes, for priapism and Peyronies, you've got it covered. is everything you need in that. And it also, when you're done with that, it helps get your drink out of that stuff as well.

Jack Starry (34:00.482)
That's right. mean, you can, you can leave it in and turn your painless into a t-shirt launcher. I mean, you to get a load going to talk about skate. You can actually get a big old load out that that's just like, it's like a double barreled testicular launching with that thing. So

Brad (34:16.927)
watching thingamajig. Let's also talk about the different designs you can get from, with Tony Spangler at spanglerart.com. have, of course, we have the beautiful, the tales from the crawlspace commemorative Tumblr featuring not only that, the PCHD, my favorite group, and also some of the most handsome of studs, handsome of studs you'll ever come across there.

Jack Starry (34:28.443)
yeah.

Jack Starry (34:41.422)
Look at that sexy motherfucker. Oh, look at that sexy motherfucker.

Brad (34:45.057)
That's right, right. There are two sexy motherfuckers on there and a tumbler and a tumbler and you can rub our bottoms. You know, unless, you know, of course in Canada you can lick the bottom too.

Jack Starry (34:48.098)
Mm-hmm.

And the rubber bottom. Ooh, rubber bottom.

Jack Starry (35:00.418)
Hey, you know, that's, it's, you know, it's so, I mean, today when you speak, speaking of that, that, know, it's on, dating apps, people look at, have how attractive someone's face is to decide if they want to stick their tongue in their butt. that just, it's, it's true. mean, I mean, it's a donut, but you know, it's, it's, it's, it's gotta be pretty in the face to stick your tongue in the stinky place.

Brad (35:14.205)
really?

I'm intrigued.

Donuts and donuts.

Brad (35:26.309)
Nice. So if you're looking for something that's going to keep your beverages safe, snug, and secure while also dealing with that nasty, sour tissue, there's only one place you need to

Jack Starry (35:41.406)
If you got peronies, reach for tony's, steal urethral sounding rad.

Brad (35:43.307)
Reach for Tony's steel urethral sounding

Jack Starry (35:51.886)
That gave me the piss shivers

Brad (35:55.221)
bet it did. Gave you the Shanghai shivers. man, that's a great ad for Tony's Up. Jack, why you tell them a little bit about who worked that up for us?

Jack Starry (36:09.954)
the jingle Mr. JT story. My boy, my best buddy. we'll do voiceovers, jingles, songs, and other things. So if you got a podcast or something, you need a spot for an intro, what have you get ahold of me, Jack at tftc.wtf or get ahold of me on Facebook messenger, Jack story. And I will get you in touch with him and we can get something made for you. He's done. He does the, he's done the Pestergen.

intro. He's done for some other shows as well. So he does a fantastic job. He does all of Tales from the Crawl Space intros.

Brad (36:48.469)
Yeah, he is the man and I really love the one today this this one you did a great job on that

Jack Starry (36:55.352)
Yeah, yeah, he has fun with them

Brad (36:57.217)
he does I know he does and you know and and it definitely shows he loves what he does and he does what he loves so that's great. So anyway so now go ahead start with your big green t-shirt.

Jack Starry (37:07.982)
That is correct. Big green tea. go ahead. Go ahead.

Big green tea. When I was a service manager, I got called out late one Saturday night. I've told the story before. Someone went trick Tony, but, this guy was drunk driving drunk in his, in his, big green tea truck, hit the curb and the front end of the truck hopped up and came down on top of a fire hydrant and it shoved the engine out of the engine compartment. So

Brad (37:22.475)
Hehehehe

Jack Starry (37:41.826)
When I got there, he got past the cops and everything. see this truck impaled. was one of the Ford Rangers, the regular technician ones and it was sitting there hazards going, surprisingly, red fire hydrant sticking out of the center and the engine set next to it on the sidewalk. Fired the dude on the spot, obviously.

Brad (37:49.481)
huh.

Brad (38:05.697)
Wow, obviously, yeah, sure. God damn, man, that's all the roller is. Oh man, yeah, it's funny, Big Green Tea seems to be full of these funny truck stories. We were having one of them worked on, I think we were getting tires replaced on it, this was so long ago, I don't remember, took it to Firestone. They put it on the lift. I dropped it.

Jack Starry (38:23.308)
Is that it?

Brad (38:29.665)
I dropped the vehicle off, went back to the office. know, me and the tech went back to the office. I put him in another truck, sent him on his way. And then I get a call. Mr. Harvey, this is so and so from blah, blah. We got a problem over here. Um, I said, um, I yeah, I what's going on? He goes, well, it might be best if you just come back to the shop. I was like, So I get to the shop.

Jack Starry (38:53.192)
Brad (38:57.017)
and he goes, let's go into the garage. I go into the garage, the truck, okay, went up on the lift, Okay, the bed wasn't supported and it had a full termite rig in it.

Jack Starry (39:06.199)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (39:13.915)
Yeah, the whole fucking thing is big, yeah. Tail was down this way, the rest of it's up this way. I looked at it, I gasped. I did that thing where you pinch that part of your nose, the very top of it, where it meets the eyes right there, and then just sit there and shake your head a little bit, and you look up, and you just wanna try to think something positive about this, but you can't. The only thing you can come up with is.

Jack Starry (39:30.19)
He's got a my god

Brad (39:42.433)
I'm surprised it stayed up on the fucking lift. I think that thing would be like, wow, it would come down on somebody. But I said, you're going to get it down. How are you going get it down from there? He goes, we're just going to drop it. So they dropped it. The fucking truck is like sitting like this. And I was like, oh my god. Yeah. So new frame, new truck basically. Yeah. They just, they just completely fucked it all up.

Jack Starry (39:45.07)
Yeah! Jesus.

Jack Starry (40:01.57)
My god.

Brad (40:09.499)
And then tried to blame it on us for having the excess weight. I said, nope. I said, you guys got full lifts on there. You also have instructions in the notes of our account that these things are to be lifted up, have full support under them. said, you can't put this on us. So Firestone bought us a new truck.

Jack Starry (40:10.466)
Yeah, that's totaled.

Jack Starry (40:30.158)
The better shit. I mean, I've seen some stupid shit on lifts, like people didn't know what they were doing and put it like on the body panel and everything. And as soon as they start lifting up, you see the body panel start bending and shit.

Brad (40:43.227)
yeah. yeah. That's great. Yeah. A lot of times, a lot of the times we don't even need technicians to fuck the trucks up. We got mechanics to do it for us, you know. You know, let's say that, you know, the loose oil fill plug or the loose oil filter or the oil drain plug or, you know, the, you know, just anything. The lug nuts didn't get torqued down. The lug nuts got torqued down too tight. know.

Jack Starry (40:51.341)
Yeah.

Jack Starry (40:57.645)
my god.

Brad (41:11.475)
Mufflers not being hung and you know just hanging there off the pipes. It's just it's just a myriad of things that they've just completely fucked up and but

Jack Starry (41:11.65)
Yes, sometimes it's

Jack Starry (41:22.232)
Sometimes it's like you said, it's not the truck, it's the mechanic or whatever. had a technician called me, he was on the road and he goes, Jack, I can't get the truck to go over like 40 mile an hour. I pushed the gas as far as it'll go and it won't go very fast. I'm like, I'm thinking it's a brand new truck. I just picked it up last month. Turns out the way he gets in and out of the truck, he shoved the floor mat up under the gas pedal. So the gas pedal will only go so far.

Brad (41:26.207)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (41:37.767)
huh.

Brad (41:50.296)
Yeah, guilty. Yeah. I mean, I figured it out, but I didn't call management to try to say something wrong with the truck. I figured it out. But still, it's still maddening because you're just like, the first thing in your mind is, yeah, something wrong with this truck. And it's like, fucking floor mat. So I'm a guy that I pull my floor mats out.

Jack Starry (41:53.802)
And he couldn't figure it so I was like, oh, come on, I'm like an idiot.

Jack Starry (42:03.853)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (42:15.579)
You know it does it does wreak havoc on the on the floorboards, but better safe than sorry I mean you know yeah, it sticks you know one day it might stick under the accelerator the next day it might stick under the brake pedal so Best up

Jack Starry (42:16.44)
Yeah.

Jack Starry (42:29.71)
always got the cheap, the really thin, cheap black rubber ones for like 15 bucks at Walmart because they were too thin to obscure anything. But it, but you can at least get the crud out of the floorboard with it. You just kind of have to pick it up in like a U shape and like dump it out. But yeah, cause the carpet ones, man, first of all, they're going to get funky. They're going to get funky as shit. So, they're thick as hell. So I just get the cheap flat, uh, rubber black ones that you get for like 10, 15 bucks at Walmart.

Brad (42:33.384)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (42:38.666)
Yeah?

Brad (42:42.72)
Yeah.

Brad (42:46.878)
huh.

Brad (42:59.093)
rubber bottoms, yep. But William the Merciful always gets the, when he gets a truck, when he buys a truck, he buys a really nice fucking truck. But that truck stays with William the Merciful forever. And then after a while, it becomes a not so cool truck, it's rusting out and everything. But it's getting the job done, when it's paid off, it's making him money, that's what it's all about.

Jack Starry (43:00.418)
the rubber bottom.

Jack Starry (43:09.998)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (43:26.911)
But he does buy those one custom for something Tex. I can't remember the name of them, but weather tech. Yeah. And those are great because they do, man. They just go right, right the fuck in. None of them. They're good. They're good. Six dirty plastic. And I really liked those. And they clean back up nice. So, you so, so you can have this nice pristine looking format where you've got, you know, the carpeted areas all full of bubble gum and dust and

Jack Starry (43:33.421)
Weather tech!

Jack Starry (43:39.212)
I've got those in my truck. Yeah, they are nice

Jack Starry (43:47.246)
They do. They really do.

Brad (43:56.255)
you know, some cases load, yeah, load. Some of that stuff will pick out, some won't.

Jack Starry (43:56.598)
load

We call those California potato chips when they get all crusty, gotta flake them off. That's California potato chips. Straight out from, from our painless to you.

Brad (44:09.361)
There you go, California potato chips. Delicious.

Hahaha!

Jack Starry (44:20.947)
Yummy!

Brad (44:21.761)
So I have had Gosh untold amounts of trucks and the worst truck that you can ever the other the worst truck that you can ever get is the used one in July and August the smell the smell of technician that permeates from some of these trucks the sweat the ass You know, it's the swast. That's right, and I'm telling you what

Jack Starry (44:27.822)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jack Starry (44:43.988)
SWAZ, the SWAZ.

Brad (44:51.817)
Yeah, that's right, Jen. That Paula is only one of three. Tony Spailor Tumblers at SpailorArt.com. No, you cannot order this. And the thing with...

Jack Starry (44:59.458)
Beagle, Chicago 6609.

Brad (45:06.741)
I have a really sensitive schnoz. And it's bad enough that I have to go through and I have to smell nasty houses, dead rodents, tin can't meat loaves, things like that. I'm sorry, loaves. And to get into a truck and it's just like, And you turn on the air conditioner to roll the windows down, but the air conditioner has been set on recirculation since the guy got the truck and you're just like.

Jack Starry (45:20.574)
yeah, yummy. Loaves.

Brad (45:35.911)
God, feel like even the cabin filter reeks of swass. It's like they take it out from under the dash and they stick it back in their pants and they like rub it up down a little bit and stick it back under the dash. It's disgusting. But you know what? Ours probably smells like that as well, but we don't notice it because it's our own brand. It's kind of like a Furt that way, Jack.

Jack Starry (45:39.945)
It's like the cabin filters have been like tea bagged, sweaty tea bagged and all you get is a nut sack. Right, right.

Jack Starry (46:01.41)
Yeah, yep.

Brad (46:05.121)
But I was like, scrub lord 64 says, I had to deal with that technician smell when I started the company work for, took me so long to get that smell out. You're not wrong, man. Sometimes it's just an exercise in futility. No amount of, I mean, you're even breaking out the rats. we're, and second, I have, uh huh. Yeah. We, we also at the Scarlet letter, we used to sell the air, you have the air fresheners machines.

Jack Starry (46:21.946)
Yep. Niloader Tappadrop. I love that shit.

Brad (46:33.877)
And they were the old type with the, not the, these are the old types with the, it's like a diesel battery on a little motor and little fan that's blowing in the box. And then you've got the little can of stuff that you pop open like a soda and you put the little, yeah, you put the cardboard in there. And people, and cherry was the worst, man. People would open them fucking cherry ones in there and they would just take it, just kind of sprinkling around in the floorboards. And you get in there and it smelled like cherry swass.

Jack Starry (46:43.093)
yeah yeah yeah, yep.

Almost like a sternocan and be- yep, Yep.

Mmmmm

Jack Starry (47:02.146)
You get a urinal mint, put it under the seat and you get that citrus urinal mint smell.

Brad (47:04.233)
Uh-huh.

Brad (47:08.361)
yeah, Citroen, Citroen. I'm sorry, everything smells like Vat plus swass. There is no getting around it. I mean, the only thing that you can do to get around it is like Scrubbord says, either you get used to it and you don't smell it anymore. But for a while, man, it's on your fucking clothes. It's like, it's disgusting. cloth seats are the...

Jack Starry (47:29.378)
Especially if it's cloth seats because cloth seats just absorbs all down into the foam get the fucking vinyl seats I mean at least you could kind of wipe those off and it's plausible Deniability that you didn't like soak your ass juice into the Yeah, but but like there's so much crust and thick like there's parts of that seat that'll actually Crack or crinkle when you sit in it for the cloth ones because they've absorbed like spilled coffee

Brad (47:35.115)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes, the... Yep, yep, vinyl or pleatherette.

Mm-hmm.

Brad (47:54.82)
huh.

Brad (47:58.142)
huh. Yep.

Jack Starry (47:58.818)
vomit or sweat everything it's just disgusting

Brad (48:02.529)
Yeah, Scotty, so we park our trucks inside every once in a while. Someone will forget about the bag of dead rats in the bed of their truck, always over a weekend. No lies detected. It does, it's disgusting. Oh my God. Yeah, I had one technician, I looked everywhere for it, where I would think that he maybe had a bag or something like that, a dead mouse in a bag or whatever. I couldn't find it, turned out it was in the bottom of this toolbox.

Jack Starry (48:12.347)
of course, yeah, and it sits in festers, it festers.

Brad (48:32.297)
One of the places I wasn't thinking to look at, I just figured he had a trap he threw back in the bag or something. Nope, he was in there for a minute. I called him up too. I was like, I was like, dude, know, tell him about it. goes, yeah, I kind of forgot about that. Sorry, man. Sorry, man.

Jack Starry (48:46.606)
I can deal with the smell of dead shit, I tell you that a Sentria IC3, that all natural rose oil, whatever that bullshit is, that ship will fester in the back of a hot truck during the summer and you open up the back of the truck and it hits you like someone just swung a baseball bat as as you open the door. mean, the first

Brad (48:55.183)
huh.

Brad (49:12.512)
Yep.

Jack Starry (49:14.946)
First time you smell it, it's nice. It's a fresh smell. But once it sits in this kind of everything, you can't escape it. And it gets stuck in your nose and you can taste it. It's fucking disgusting.

Brad (49:26.919)
yeah, yeah, your hat reeks of it, your shirt reeks of it, everything just reeks of it. It's pretty bad when you're just like, you're out, you've got your sleeves rolled up, you're checking stations or something, you go like, god, it smells like my fucking truck. It's horrid. And we talk about dead rodents and shit like that, I'm sorry, dead lunch is even worse.

Jack Starry (49:41.336)
Yeah. That's nothing worth a shit either, so they had us using for mosquito services and it was a joke.

Jack Starry (49:55.168)
yeah, bologna mayonnaise.

Brad (49:57.141)
Bologna and mayonnaise, right. It's usually okay if it's like a fast food burger or something like that, because they contain such a little water that they can stay, they're preserved forever. So that's really not too much. But when you get something home grown that you're in there. speaking of that, Jack, you're gonna love this. Okay, I've been on medical leave with my leg since like January, right?

Jack Starry (50:09.144)
Right.

Jack Starry (50:20.812)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Brad (50:23.903)
Today is my last day on medical leave. I'm trying to get my shit together to pack, you know, so I'll be ready, locked and loaded to pack my lunch and everything. I opened up my lunch box and I have a science project going over. The whole thing on the inside is just covered in a grayish brown mold, right? I had left a clementine in that that I did not eat and I left it in that thing and it just shriveled up and just mold went everywhere. And I'm thinking that might be why I'm coughing, you know, cause this is like, I can open that thing up.

Jack Starry (50:48.942)
It's like a dark green tennis ball.

Brad (50:55.172)
Oh my god, so I'm like, I'm gonna have to go out, it's not even time to put my garden hose outside yet. I may actually have to go do that, put my garden hose out, take the hose to the thing, or buy a new lunch box. I think I'm gonna buy a new lunch box because that one was free, it was given to me by my daughter. She got it as a award from where she works, and she's like, I don't fuck a pack of lunch. So I was using it, and so I may just get a new lunch box.

Jack Starry (51:07.907)
Yeah

Jack Starry (51:16.386)
Mmhmm.

Jack Starry (51:21.676)
I have an old 1970s metal Kiss lunchbox I can send to you.

Brad (51:25.075)
A kiss? had, I had, fuck what was it, I Dukes of Hazard and Six Million Dollar Man.

Jack Starry (51:30.518)
I had the Dukes of Hazard one as well. did. Mario said we use ozone generators to get rid of random smells 45 minutes after vacuum cleaning and the smell is gone. Ozone generators do work. I'm like for when they go do apartments and like the new person moves in, they run them things all day. I think it takes all the funk and like makes it heavy and it drops to the ground. They vacuum it up and you can vacuum up the funk. was...

That thing would have to work overtime on my truck because all the farting I do, my coffee farts.

Brad (51:59.261)
man, I go off on other people about the smell of their trucks, but mine has to be hideous, because I'm fat, I sweat, and I'm just as bad as everybody else. But like I said, you never notice it because it's your own brand.

Jack Starry (52:10.284)
Yeah,

Jack Starry (52:15.608)
I get moist. get really moist.

Brad (52:17.045)
You do get moist, yeah, just get all moist. man.

Jack Starry (52:21.502)
no, I sweat, I sweat like a long tail cat room full of rocking chairs, man. I'll get out doing a termite job and it's from, from my nipples down and like my, my belt is soaked. had a old leather belt, which I think had more sweat DNA in it. You could probably make a whole nother me out of that belt. I mean, I just, just absolutely soaked. It was a Christmas gift from Abercrombie and Fitch.

Brad (52:40.939)
Yeah.

Brad (52:45.203)
Jack Starry (52:47.982)
And it was my work belt. And it was my work belt when I used to install carpet too. So, oh my God, that thing was just absolutely saturated with me. So.

Brad (52:51.839)
Yeah.

Ahem.

Brad (53:00.137)
I sweat like a blind male stripper in a ladies club wiener roast. So I know what you're talking about.

Jack Starry (53:04.942)
we have a you can truck it.

Brad (53:11.829)
We do have a Yukon trucket by golly. And you know, if you could just keep doing a lead up on it, I'll actually find it.

Jack Starry (53:14.794)
Now I have...

Jack Starry (53:20.298)
no, that's one and I have another one too that I haven't read yet. So, but yeah, we definitely got to get the one that you're talking about. That's the best fucking insult ever. So yeah, we have to, we gotta read that one.

Brad (53:24.421)
okay.

Brad (53:30.881)
it is hilarious. So who wants to go first here, Jack?

Jack Starry (53:37.706)
You go ahead and do that one and then this last one will be new to both of us because I haven't read it.

Brad (53:39.883)
Okay.

Brad (53:43.681)
I will kind of spill the candy a little bit. This insult is so good, I don't think I've got something to top it. But anyway, so here we go. Dave Lyon, thank you very much for this.

Jack Starry (53:50.987)
No, no.

Brad (53:58.463)
My first day at Renekil, they gave me my first vehicle. It was absolutely filthy. The entire interior was somehow sticky yet covered with an inch of cigarette ash at the same time. The toolbox not only did not lock it, but also didn't latch. So I had to use a bungee cord to keep it closed. Drove it after a few months after I made them clean it and they refused to drive it until they fixed the toolboxes.

They ended up giving me a new ute, but wrote me up a month later for having my lunch rubbish on the floor that I ate that day. Fuck them. I hope they develop taste buds in their assholes.

Jack Starry (54:38.267)
my god.

Jack Starry (54:42.51)
TASTEBUDS IN YOUR ASSHOLE! That's... You can't. You can't. That stands alone as an EXEMPLE REINSULT.

Brad (54:47.137)
How can you top that?

That even tops my asparagus insult. I'm sorry. I was so proud of that one and now I have nothing. Thanks Dave Lyon. I hope you get taste buds in your asshole.

Jack Starry (54:56.67)
Yeah

We love you Dave, thank you for that.

Brad (55:07.166)
Ha ha ha!

Jack Starry (55:09.218)
Now this one is anonymous. Customer came from a company and I haven't read this at all. Neither of us is new for both of us. Customer came from a company we bought and got baseboard sprays. Cool. No problem. It's on your agreement. We'll honor it. Apparently customer pressure washes his home, cleans and moves furniture every two months so we can treat effectively. Once 48 hour notice, we only call the day before, but we tried to accommodate this customer.

This was brought to my attention when I was out speaking to his neighbor about her issues and he walked into her home to bombard me about it. I said, cool. I'm the service manager. When I get back to the office, I'll call you and get your next service set up. Two hours goes back, two hours goes back and call him. He proceeded to cuss me out that I'm not giving him enough notice and not letting me talk. GM calls customers all happy. Go lucky that the service is.

was completed, saw that he was due today, back on the 17th. GM calls, him a voicemail that he's due on the 21st and we would be out. My great tech texted him, said he would be out. Customer sends my tech a shitty response. I called the customer. He proceeded to cuss and scream at me for 10 minutes. I sat quietly. I finally get a chance. I said, yeah. Looking at our call history, you were called 317 at 1236.

and that we would be out 321 and if that didn't work let us know. He proceeded to lose his fucking mind on me and as a redhead I was ready to let the motherfucker have it but I ended the call when he called me a bitch. Let's just say he no longer has an account and he can fucking suck it.

Brad (56:48.469)
Mm-hmm.

Brad (56:56.243)
He can't suck it. Again, I got nothing. Thanks, Dave!

Jack Starry (56:59.246)
I hope you wake up and your testicles are on your feet so the first thing you do is get your feet off the side of the bed and step right on your own fucking nuts. That's what I hope.

I hope that your kidney stones get lodged in the end of your penis so every time you piss, you piss all over your fucking feet. That's what I hope.

Brad (57:19.489)
Damn. crap, that's hilarious.

Jack Starry (57:25.622)
You can suck it. Brandon showed up. Hey, Brandon.

Brad (57:28.993)
What's brandon? Haha taste buds. Yeah, I gotta love it. Yeah, that's right

Jack Starry (57:35.544)
taste buds in your butthole.

That tastes like shit, man.

I got to tell you, we had a Rodney here earlier. Rodney and Russell were guests on last week's pestrogen podcast and they did a great damn job on that show. And I got to tell you, the dream team of Jenny and Candice has, been a fantastic fucking show. and I look forward to it. They record every Sunday and they usually, it usually drops Monday morning. So,

Brad (57:43.765)
Yeah

Brad (57:56.235)
Wow.

They did.

Brad (58:06.23)
Yeah.

Brad (58:12.129)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So be sure to listen to that one. Absolutely.

Jack Starry (58:16.608)
Most definitely. And check out Pest Perspectives podcast, Sean Mueller. We were on this last episode that just dropped today. all of his episodes are quality. He's a great guy, got a great show and we were tickled as hell to, to be on their show as well. It was fantastic.

Brad (58:34.641)
Yeah, I had a great time with him, Jack. whether or not he had a great time is no different, indifference matter of complete indifference to me. He had, yeah, but I'm sure he did. also, be sure to check out, if you're into such things, the License to Kill server on Discord, they always have a lot of great educational podcasts on there. And so definitely, License to Kill, let's give them a check out.

Jack Starry (58:54.451)
yeah.

Brad (59:04.029)
Who knows, you may learn something. I don't know.

Jack Starry (59:07.938)
Yeah, you don't come here to learn nothing, so you know.

Brad (59:09.311)
That's right, you come here for edgy. Edgy and taste buds in your butthole, that's right. So yeah, so Jack, what are we doing next week?

Jack Starry (59:12.352)
and edgy and taste buds in your butthole.

Jack Starry (59:21.295)
That's a good damn question. We're gonna fly by the seat of our pants again, I think.

Brad (59:23.376)
Mm-hmm. I think we will. You know, it worked pretty well for us this week, didn't it? That's right, you know. Yeah, we don't overthink shit around here at Tales from the Crawl Space, believe me.

Jack Starry (59:28.846)
That's what we usually do anyways. It wouldn't have it, wouldn't have it any other way.

Jack Starry (59:36.686)
No, we're due up for a wildlife episode. We are due up for a wildlife episode.

Brad (59:39.501)
We are due up for a wildlife episode. Of course, we got the international episode. We got all this other lovely stuff. So yeah, we'll think about it and let you know what we come up with, I guess.

Jack Starry (59:50.572)
Yep, we'll pull something out of our ass between now and next Friday.

Brad (59:53.349)
Exactly. So everybody, thanks again for listening. Everybody that dropped in on the chat, man, we really love having you on here. So, okay, yeah. Let's get together again and chat up some more. on behalf of Pest Control Humor Depot, my favorite group, spanglerart.com, license to kill on the Discord server, Pestrogen and Pest Perspectives. Jack and I ask you cordially to bug the fuck off.

Jack Starry (01:00:00.464)
that's great.

Jack Starry (01:00:18.958)
Bug off.